Crazy ups and downs

Anyone living with an unmediated bipolar? The minute things start to calm down, something triggers them to become unhinged again. I know it's not them but the illness. It's he'll to live with them! L

I have to agree with that.

You're waiting for him to blow, and then you might not be able to get a housemate, because you'll be in such a state because of his "condition."

It could either be a bout of his depression, or a high manic state, in which I think you said he may have hit you. You said he cheats on you, but doesn't want you going out with friends, and tries to isolate you.

My spouse did all of the above, except for the hitting, but she was very abusive, and I stayed because of finances, also. We were buying a house, and I didn't want to pay high apartment prices, which I didn't have the money for, and also lost my 1/2 of the house.

She passed from a long illness, and I gained a certain amount of self-confidence from living without her. I realized she was lowering my self confidence, by being so verbally aggressive if I even sneezed.

So, are you making any plans now, during calm, to find a housemate to pay some of the bills? Do you not look forward to telling him to get out?

What are your plans for finding a housemate?

Oh she passed. Sometimes I wonder if it's harder on them or us. Life is so uncertain. Why choose misery. I think my pups to the beach w a friend on Sat. Nice to hang out with tranquil folk😊

the new yr may be too long? keep safe and don't engage or poke the bear!!

I had a woman I was helping in the last couple of years. She was, let's just say, a somewhat dangerous character.

She had already conned me once, after I had helped her for several months, and let me know if I tried to recoup anything, that she owned a pistol, and wasn't afraid to use it. That's as close to friendship as she ever got.

So we know she's dangerous. Somehow, 8 or 10 months later, I got back in touch with her. OK, big mistake. So, I talked to her on the phone for 6 or 8 more months.

Didn't talk with her for 4 months because she got a boyfriend. Then one day she appeared on my back porch. Difficult not to invite her into the house, although getting into the house is her step 1 to something, which I don't need to know about.

So she comes in, has supper in the car, brings it in, we have a warm dining experience, too warm. Something is amiss. Right before leaving she says, "I'll be back before the weekend's over."

I have a couple of days to think. How can I keep her out of my house? What about a sign on the front and back door, "I am not able to entertain"?

Even I realized, if she ever gets back into this house, with a long time to figure out what she wants to do, I'm going to be at a severe disadvantage. I never even heard her knock, which was my plan, and she didn't try to contact me after that, it's been several months.

You say, "Another thing is I don't trust him. When unmediated he makes up stories and indulges in fantasies and delusions. Not a solid character by any means"

So it reminds me somewhat of the person I was having to deal with, or choose to deal with. I think at such times you really have to come to terms with yourself, as well as the other person.

You really have to see them at their worst, in my case it was the woman stealing from me, in your case, your boyfriend hitting you, and constantly demeaning you, sapping your self confidence, to where you might not be able to leave.

I think we have to see that, decide how we're going to deal with that, and then put our plan to get away in motion.

"Not a solid character" says a lot, meaning he is capable of underhandedness, dirty tricks. If he's cheating on you, that's pretty dirty.

My wife cheated on me, but that was not her biggest fault. Her biggest fault was, if and when I caught her cheating, she was going to lower the boom on me, rather than the opposite.

She was going to demand that I leave our own house, leave our own child, and if I didn't, give me heck every day for not leaving.

That was her dirtiest trick, and also showed how much concern she had for our child.

So you need to be aware of your environment, and how much or how little you're doing to get away from it. And how positive, or not, you are that you can escape this.

It's like living w Jekyll and Hyde, split personalities, maybe multiple ones. That's what I observe. He smokes pot and it seems to calm him down. No drinking

Probably. He is in touch with his family again. They have a vicious on and off relationship. His father was both verbally and physically abusive. He regularly went to brothels when the kids were young. Whenever he has contact with them he is more abusive towards me.

Hi Lis,

I agree. You should start looking now if you can. Don't wait for the new year.

Being verbally and physically abused would of had an impact on him. Someone victims of abuse becomes abusers as they either don't realize that what they are doing is wrong, cannot stop themselves because of their impulse control, or their substance abuse problems, or even brain damage, or simply do not care about the damage they do.
Please ensure that you safe at all time especially when he is not calm.

How's the puppy doing? I thinks dogs are wonderful animals. They just put you in a better mood, no matter what is going on.

UA

He also uses cocaine from time to time . This is worse then the other. He is capable of sending 50 texts to anyone, employer, family accusing them of fictitious things. He assaults people, especially his mother and I with abusive and violent words. He has attempted suicide a few times, years ago. It's mostly mania and sociopathic behavior towards others that exist now.

Ok, oops my apologies

Well Thanksgiving went well. He has been on an upswing since. Don't think it will last🤣