Sometimes excited too much

I have bipolar, and take Lithium for the mania and Mirtazapine for the depression.

You say, "Sometimes I feel like excited way too much. This happens when someone types a joke in an online game, or I'm watching a comedy, or just reading something, a book. Or making effort to get something done. I'd go on but now I can't remember."

When I'm manic, I can do the same thing. I'm on Lithium, so it does control mania, but I can get extrasilly, like right before supper, and sometimes everything sounds funny and I can't control my laughter. My brother as a kid had that, also, and he's not bipolar.

You say you're not truly bipolar. Have you looked at the symptoms for bipolar on the net?

Mine are, I get really into a project and I can't stop. Have a hard time sleeping. Wake up early. Get really wound up over things. Anger easily. Have rapid thoughts, but get nothing done, for I am thinking too fast.

Depression, can't get out of bed. Think I'm feeling so bad I'll never get well.

Do you think you have bipolar, or just depression by itself?

You say, "I believe, I did something bad by taking californian rocket fuel (which is - don't worry - 2 antidepressants combined). And that thing still persists after 3 years without "fuel".

That combination of two anti-deps is talked of below. Why do you think you might have effects of that?

Are you having tough depression?

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For California Rocket Fuel, WebMD.com says:

"California rocket fuel is a slang term created by the psychiatric community (and some medical professionals) that refers to a combined treatment with Remeron (Mirtazapine) and Effexor (Venlafaxine).

"The reason this combination is referred to as “California rocket fuel” is due to the its higher than average potency and efficacy. Rockets blast off with extreme speed, and in many cases, people given this particular combination notice a rapid improvement in their depressive symptoms.

"Unless a person is dealing with treatment-resistant depression, it’s relatively uncommon for a person to be taking multiple antidepressants. If a person ends up taking multiple antidepressants, they are generally from different classes such as an SSRI (e.g. Prozac) with an atypical (e.g. Wellbutrin). Prescribing multiple antidepressants of the same class such as multiple SSRIs can lead to a potentially fatal condition known as “serotonin syndrome.”

You'd probably want to find out what the situation is, so you can treat it with the right medicine.

Misdiagnosed is then miss-medicated, I know, because I have been.

I was bipolar, but seen in the psychiatrist's office as depressed, I was diagnosed as that. I was never asked, do you ever have racing thoughts, to see if I was bipolar, so I was miss-diagnosed.

Then, of course, I was miss-medicated, given an anti-depressant, which sent me into my mania, and also panic attacks. Because I wasn't given Lithium to hold down the mania, which the anti-depressant alone was fixing to cause.

So you probably want to find out what you are, so you can also get the right medicine.

You're not hullicinating, so it might not be schizoaffective.

Gen. Anxiety disorder. You said it could be that, my amateur guess, could be that.

You're taking short term benzo, which website below says not a good way to go over the long term.

If you're younger, and it's not debilitating, maybe. But if you're older and it's really getting to you, you'd probably want a longer term medicine, which is discussed below.

You'd probably want to see a psychiatrist to see what he or she thinks. You'd probably want to treat this in early stages. If you wait until this perhaps gets into a crisis, you might not have a psychiatrist, and it will be harder to make decisions.

If you already have a psychiatrist, you won't have to figure all of that out, you can just call that person, and get an appointment quicker, probably. And that doctor will already know you and your condition.

You're already reaching out for help, which is good. Now perhaps apply some of that new data.

mayoclinic.org said:

1. "Schizoaffective disorder symptoms may vary from person to person. People with the condition experience psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations or delusions, as well as symptoms of a mood disorder — either bipolar type (episodes of mania and sometimes depression) or depressive type (episodes of depression).

The course of schizoaffective disorder usually features cycles of severe symptoms followed by periods of improvement with less severe symptoms.

medicines recommend include A. Antipsychotics B. Mood-stabilizing medications (Lithium, etc.)
C. •Antidepressants.

2. General Anxiety Disorder:

It's normal to feel anxious from time to time, especially if your life is stressful. However, excessive, ongoing anxiety and worry that are difficult to control and interfere with day-to-day activities may be a sign of generalized anxiety disorder.

Symptoms

•Persistent worrying or anxiety about a number of areas that are out of proportion to the impact of the events
•Overthinking plans and solutions to all possible worst-case outcomes
•Perceiving situations and events as threatening, even when they aren't
•Difficulty handling uncertainty
•Indecisiveness and fear of making the wrong decision
•Inability to set aside or let go of a worry
•Inability to relax, feeling restless, and feeling keyed up or on edge
•Difficulty concentrating, or the feeling that your mind "goes blank"

Medicines recommended:

A. *Antidepressants.

B. •Buspirone. An anti-anxiety medication.

C. •Benzodiazepines. In limited circumstances, your doctor may prescribe a benzodiazepine for relief of anxiety symptoms. These sedatives are generally used only for relieving acute anxiety on a short-term basis. Because they can be habit-forming, these medications aren't a good choice if you have or had problems with alcohol or drug abuse

Good to hear from you.

It's good that you are reaching out for help.

Try to stay positive that you can get through this.

Let us know how things are going.