Do I ever go off the meds?

I was just diagnosed in november at a mental hospital. I think I was manic for a very long time before I crashed. Although I don't remember alot of things that happened in the few weeks prior. But I was so manic that I kept getting hurt. Though I am doubting the diagnosis, even though three different phsycs have told me I am bipolar 1. In my life things are always chaos, there is not a day that goes by that I just sit on the couch and do nothing, that is why it is even hard for me to find time to sit here and type something on the computer without being interupted. The day the I admitted myself I was on lexapro,klonipan,and aprazalam I think. I went and got a second kitten just for the heck of it. My husband had to work late that night. My kids were being crazy of course running around the house fighting, screaming, and playing. I hurried around the house cleaning as fast as I could. I walked around the corner and saw my 2 year old son with a permanent marker all up and down the wall next to the stairs, which we had just painted. I freaked out, I ran in the garage and got all the stuff to paint and I was painting the wall while I was yelling at him. I would stop and go over and spank him and continue yelling at him. Then I went into the laundry room and started taking the door off the shelf thinking that I would paint the big laundry room while I had it all out and the cupboard door fell and knocked a grill onto my foot. It hurt so bad that I thought for sure it was broken. I called my friend to come over and I was crying I couldn't stop crying. when she arrived I only got worse, I was crying and screaming and pulling my hair out in chunks. Untill finally my mom got there and I started saying that I needed to be put into the hospital. They called my husband sometime during all of this, and he got home to take me to the hospital. When we got to the hospital I asked to speak to a social worker and I really opened up to her and told her things from my past that I didn't think actuallly bothered me. From there I was admitted into a mental hospital. Where I only got worse, I was on so many meds I don't hardly remember the four days I was there, and I ended up making them let me leave even though they didn't think that I should. I had cut my arm all up and I could not comprehend anything. It didn't get better when I got out since I was still on so many meds. Finally 2 months ago I went to summit research, they started by taking me off all my meds exept lithium. After two days I immediately was doing better, my head was actually clear. Then they started me on serequal, and those are the two drugs I am on now. My point to this is  could it possibly be all the medicine that I have been on all this time be what is making me crazy. Is there any chance at all that I am not bipolar? I just don't know, is it that these medicines are what work even though I have gained 30 pounds in 2 months. Can't there possibly be another way? Any advice would help. Thank you Tina

Hi Tina,  Welcome.....

I am sorry about your bipolar diagnosis.  I know it is a difficult adjustment to make.  Bipolar Disorder is completely manageable with the proper medications.  It is essential for you to follow your physicians recommendations for your treatment.

Ann mentioned a "drug craze of the last 20 to 30 years"  I do think it is important to point out that doctors didn't know what Bipolar was 20 years ago nor did they have medications to treat it.  Most people who had active symptoms, were manic or suicidal were institutionalized for long term.  It is true that a lot of the newer medications that are out to treat this there is not any long term data to support it being safe.  However, this can be said with any drug that you take.  Taking medications and what kind is always a personal choice.  Everyone is different and will react differently to them.  You have to figure out what is most important to you. 

You, your kids and your husband deserve to have a normal happy life.  Try to make the best of it.  Either way we are here for you....

Hi Tina,

Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder is a hard thing to accept at first.  When I was first diagnosed I did not accept it.  I went off the medications thinking I did not have bipolar disorder.  I was fine for months, and then I crashed with a manic episode.  The manic episode that I had tore my life apart.  I realized that I did not ever want to go through that again. So this time I listened to the doctors. 

I have been taking Lithium for 3 years, and have had no depressive or manic episodes.  It is a great feeling having a stable life.  I no longer have this feel that my life will fall apart because of a manic episode.  At first it is hard to accept being on medication.  I just think how many problems in life people wish could be fixed by taking pill.  Bipolar disorder can be managed effectively with the right medicaiton.  Treated bipolar disorder really has no symptoms.  If the medications work properly no one should be able to tell there is anything wrong with you. 

Hi Tina,  Yes your family does deserve to have you there for them but you also deserve to be healthy and happy.  To have the best life you can possibly can. 

Bipolar runs in different cycles that is why it is hard to diagnose and treat.  You wont see too many people now a days being "locked up" or institutionalized for any kind of mental illness.  We now have these big fancy mental health facilities that you can go to for a week or two then go home again once your meds are straight.

I hope that you continue to use this site as an information source and we are always here to help in anyway that we can, so post often.....