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Posted 9/4/2006 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
i saw a new pdoc last week.  he did a full intake.  i told him about my checkered psychiactric history, going back to when i was a teen-ager (that was a LONG time ago :-) ).  i also told him about the muffed epidural steroid injection which put me into such pain that i attempted suicide.  i told him about the original misdiagnoses of schizophrenia and schizoaffective behavior, eventually, with my intervention, leading to a more accurate diagnosis of bp.  i told him of my education, and that i had slightly less education than he had.  we also discussed my work history.

all of the above is to say that he did a thorough job.  here's the clinker.  he said that if he wanted a data handling computer system or space station built, he would ask me about it.  that statement isn't really close.  my reality is a lot less grandiose.  he said that if i wanted his help, i couldn't question anything the suggested.  he also said that i would have to give up this forum (fat chance).

i believe that i am the one responsible for my health.  i pay a dr for his/her advice and input.  the ultimate decisions are mine.

should i go back or seek another pdoc?  i am uncomfortable giving over total control of my health to someone else.  this is MY body - i live here.  this is MY brain (such as it is) - i use it for dealing with reality.

input, please.

warren

 

Posted 9/4/2006 12:34 AM (GMT 0)
Wow Warren -- did you say pdoc or dictator?! He may be thorough, but that's only half the task. I think if you stay with him things will just go bad very quickly -- and I don't get a really healthy picture of this as a workable relationship as things stand. His approach may work for some people, but if you're a questioner NO! More to the point, I think bp is an illness where you *need* to be involved in your own treatment: it's an illness that you need to be -- and *feel* -- in control of, but this guy is asking you to turn over all control... I'd run like the clappers personally and find someone who's not quite so far up their own ... well, you know what I mean!!

Did he even explain what he'd be requiring you to do as per his instructions, or why you would have to leave this forum? ... Was the third thing on his list world domination??

I know finding a decent pdoc is hard ... but *surely* there's a better one out there for you!!

What does Martha reckon?

Rosie x
Posted 9/4/2006 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with Rosie.  We are all responsible for our health and to hand it over completely to a doctor you don't know is crazy (pardon the pun).  I mean he's crazy, not you.  Maybe he is somewhat intimidated by your educatiion and is afraid you will ask questions that he doesn't know the answer to or you will try to be too much in control --either way, I say run the other way and find a pdoc who will work with you, not try to control you...Luv..Lazy

Posted 9/4/2006 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Warren,
It's not uncommon for pdocs and therapists to want us off the forums, chat groups, etc. The explaination I got is that we get alot of bad advice, and that someone in a bad place can actually be triggering to someone else teetering on that edge. We can feed off each other.
Hmmmm. You can see how well I took that advice, I went on to moderate. As long as you use common sense (IN MY OPINION) and take no actual medical advice from the forum, (there are those who take someone elses word as fact, on their word alone) I just don't see the harm in it. I personally find it very beneficial to have some support system here. (I bet those therapists would change their mind if we called them for support when we felt the need instead of posting here in the wee hours of the morning). I have also been in a place where I needed to break from the forum. When my problems became so consuming that dealing with others WAS triggering to me. I think most people know when they just can't handle it though.
I would say that if you already feel this uncomfortable with this pdoc, keep shopping. There are good ones and bad ones like any profession. Sometimes it isn't even that, you can have the simple personality conflict.
Good luck Warren
Ellie
Posted 9/4/2006 3:45 PM (GMT 0)
thank all of you for your comments - and quickly, too!

i don't think i intimidate people.  my wife thinks i do.  i did, however, long ago, get po'ed at a boss and left him in tears.  :-) but he was a jerk, anyway.  i was developing something he didn't know anything about and he kept trying to tell me how to do it.  i had a reason to intimidate him, didn't i? yeah    i miss those days.

seriously, i believe that what got him was that i didn't just lay down, spread my (figurative-i'm a guy) legs, and let my original pdoc rape me with a misdiagnosis.  as dr phil says, if you don't know what's wrong, you can't fix it."  (or was that the tea lady? - for you, rosie tongue  - pleaase explain the tea lady to our yank friends).  without a proper diagnosis, you cannot get proper treatment, either pharmacological or therapudic.

i'm ranting, again.  sorry.  i just feel lost and betrayed.  i got shafted by the first pdoc i found up here and now this one wants me to give him total control.  he says i have control issues. da**ed right, i do!  straight on.  anyone who has lived through what i have lived through for as many years as i have endured would have control issues!

sorry, another rant.  you can tell i'm upset.  :-)     doesn't happen ofted (he says knowing that he's lieing through his teeth).  ok.  so i'm a strong personality.  and forceful (that's british understatement at it's top).  if my wife can handle me, why can't this trained shrink?  sheeeeeeh!

and i think the reason he wants me outta here is that i get a lot if info from here.  i rely on you for input.  many of you have been in this place a lot longer than me.  i've just been alive longer.  don't make me smarter - or better informed.

warren

Post Edited (wmnak) : 9/4/2006 10:02:26 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/4/2006 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Warren,

Well, even if you *do* have control issues (and I agree with you -- just think that you're a strong character), if the only way your pdoc can think of to deal with you is by telling you to hand over all control, I think he's got his own issues. -- He ought to feel secure enough in himself to be able to deal with strong patients -- and even ones with control issues -- by rather more appropriate methods. If control *were* an issue for a patient of his, it ought to be his therapy that helps his patient overcome this: you can't just tell someone to hand over and think that's job done!

Never apologise for having a rant Warren -- and I reckon this one deserved a rant (hey, I had a bit of one myself in response!!).

Love your British understatement -- we trained you well, old chap! :) Ah, tea ladies -- once the heart and soul of the work place with their trollies of tea, bisuits and sarnies, now replaced by overpriced cafes nearby and vending machines. I'm sure I don't have to explain the latter to anyone! Always good sources of gossip and cliches -- but some of those cliches are spot on!!

Rosie x
Posted 9/4/2006 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
ah, yes, the much maligned tea lady.  a veritable british institution.  she had no status but knew about everything that was happening in the workplace.  and, rosie, it WASN'T gossip.  the tea lady spoke GOSPEL!

one place where i worked in the mid 70's, i was develop[ing some occult thingamawhatche but couldn't get it to work.  the tea lady told me to try something and by goerge!  :-)

a part of history died with their demise. sad

anyone ever watch quincy with klugmen?  he was a medical examiner.  at any rate quincy was so intense that he came across as fake or insincere.  am i becoming quincy?  jope not.  but i know that i am VERY intense.

warren

Posted 9/4/2006 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
Blimey -- I take back my comment about the gossip: the tea lady clearly knew her onions (now there's a bit of a Brit phrase for you!). tongue


Oh-ho yes, I've watched Quincy -- always intense, always righteous, always a good moral and a bit of questioning of how the system could have got this way so as to allow such crazy things ("But that just isn't right, etc) ... He did a guest appearance on Diagnosis Murder once, which was rather confusing ... he was like Quincy, but the baddy confused ...! Know what you mean about him coming across as fake or insincere ... You don't come across as Quincy-esque to me! :-)
Rosie x

Posted 9/4/2006 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Ah Warren....I think you suffer from righteous indignation, not rant. Once, when I was Baker Acted skull ...I told the pdoc to leave me the ....alone because my 72 hours were up and I was leaving.  She told me it would be "against medical advise."  I said "okeedokee" Even in my extremely vulnerable state at that point, I knew the difference between being controlled and being helped.  And staying there would not have helped me even a little bit.  As soon as I got home I called my regular pdoc and he said he didn't blame me one bit for leaving when I did. Didn't mean to go on about myself but just wanted to share.  Also, want to prove a point...that we come here for support because we understand each other.  It has nothing to do with getting medical advice (at least from my standpoint). I think we understand each other in a way that any physician will never understand us, unless he/she also suffers from BP (which is entirely possible).  That's my rant for the day....Luv...Lazy
Posted 9/5/2006 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
ellie, i want to let my cynicism out for a run (another britishism for rosie :-) ).  i think the doc may want me outta here so that if i need support outside of regularly scheduled apts., he can charge $300 a pop! 

lazy, i think that your stories are better and much more interesting than mine.  keep them coming. 

i think you are right, lazy.  i get a lot of comfort from HW and my cyber-friends.  except for the times i've stepped in it and/or have pi**ed a few people off (mostly in the chronic pain forum), i respect and admire the people here.  even though most of you are young enough to be my kids, or grandkids (did i say great-grandkids?), we are all sharing experiences that noone should have to live through.  we've been there, are there, or are going there.  maybe it's like combat.  i don't know.  before getting drafted for viet nam, i was invited to design military systems, so i never experienced that "band of brothers."  that was another lifetime, anyway.

thanks for your input and thoughts.

warren

Posted 9/5/2006 1:12 PM (GMT 0)
I think I am responsible for my overall health but in conjunction with my primary care doctor. But he can't help me if I don't work with him and take responsibility for myself. I can't just depend on him to "fix me".
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