TEEN OUT OF HOSPITAL, ha!! A LOT OF GOOD THAT DID!

Pardon my attitude but this sucks totally...My son was in in hospital and recently we got him out. Nothing's really changed, the nightmare continues. Does it EVER get better??

He is on meds now, which is good, BUT HOW LONG BEFORE THEY KICK IN AND HE'S BAREABLE?

HE CAME BACK THE SAME BUT NOW I GET THE ADDED DELIGHT OF HEARING "MOM ARE YOU HAPPY??! YOU PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL!! ARE YOU HAPPY? 2 inches from my face!

He's been on the meds Lithium, Seroquil and Abilify for 2 weeks now...He's been consistant.

His dad is here in the house now staying here to help. I'm burned out and dad is fast approaching my state of mind! His big sister moved out to escape his verbal abuse. She feels like an orphan! We are ALL AT THE ENDS OF OUR ROPES!

HOW LONG BEFORE THE MEDS HELP!??

IS THERE ANY CHANCE HE MIGHT BE SCHIZOPHRENIC???? Yes, we go to both a Psychiarist and Psychologist.

I am so sorry. I am also sorry that I have no advice to give you. I don't know what I would do in your situation. All I can say is you and your family are in my prayers.

Hi Diane,

I'm so sorry -- this is terrible for you to watch. The only thing that helps at these times is to keep telling yourself that this is the illness, not personal. That said, people with bp are ill but not stupid: you need to lay down some ground rules with your son. Tell him that you will always be there for him to help, but that the abuse about you admitting him to hospital is not helping anyone: you did it for a very good reason, and you're sorry that he is having trouble seeing this, but that this is how it is. Tell him that if he starts on this, you will not engage on the subject, and stick to that: if he starts, walk away.

The meds can take up to 12 weeks or so to fully work -- but there's the added complication of them maybe needing adjusting (because there's no one-pill-fits-all formula and the whole meds process can be pretty trial and error to begin with). Have you talked to your son's psychiatrist about this? Is he/she aware of how bad everything is for your son and for those around him?

Your son might be schizophrenic, but I think if he's had the depression as well at other times (which I'm sure you've said he has), bp sounds more likely. Manias can be *very* intense and scary -- and sometimes it just doesn't seem possible that it's not something more, but that's the nature of the beast -- and the positive thing to remember is that in time this can be kept under control. First step, though, will always have to be getting those meds right, so do pursue this further with his doc.

Big hugs (((Diane)))

Rosie x

It might do you good to get some counselling for yourself -- I did when all of this first struck and I *really* needed it.

No, he doesn't really care...that evil twin is the pits! His old Pdoc said there will eventually come a time when he says "what was I thinking??" but I haven't seen it yet. He also says he can't wait until he can move out of the house. BUT ALSO at the same time he wants to go to church and youth group!! How's that for a twist! This is all wihout any regrets/conscience as to how he behaves at home! At least the illness didn't take that part of him away. And he's almost fine there...almost. Weird. This manic has been going on now for 7 months now. But most of that time was without consistant meds.

Thank you all for listening and the hugs. I know that sometimes the answers are just "grin and bear it". This site helps us with both those areas! Big HUGS to all!!

His other Pdoc (funny word) was a woman and I thought, since he's surrounded by or was surrounded by women at home he'd respond beter to a man. The new doc was one of the docs at the hospital he went to also.

We should start a thread about Psycho ex's, LOL, mine is Schizo but I'm putting up with him and he's being a big help. He's on meds so he's "okay" but OH the stories I can tell too! No, he never owned up for the way he treated me way back when...

Matt said he didn't like her and I wasn't too thrilled with her either. She was hard to get a hold of.

We haven't gone yet.

rosie,

this is you at your best.

mom,

the advice you have been given is spot on.  i would just go one step farther.  this illness doesn't just affect the person who is ill, it affects the entire family (and/or significant other).  what rosie says about counceling for you is manditory.  it is also mandatory for you and your husband and his siblings. 

this illness generates all kinds of anger and resentment, most of which is supressed.  these feelings need to be dealt with in a healthy way.

remember, too, that hospitalization is like the application of a band-aid.  the real healing takes place after the patient gets home.

all the best.  we're pulling for you.

warren

Hmm Diane, if he wants to go to church, then maybe there is regret in there somewhere.
Perhaps suggest to him that he talks to his vicar/pastor/minister about things?
Explain to him that then he's free to talk to someone that he knows and trusts, and who isn't a psychiatrist so won't immediately try to give him lots of medication or anything. From his reaction to the hospitalisation I think he's probably quite scared of all the medication and hospital stuff deep down, but of course he won't admit that to you! Make sure he realises that he's in control if he talks to the vicar - it's his choice, he can do it when he wants to, there's no pressure, and it's definitely not a psychiatrist.

Vicars (or whichever it is) will happily do sessions for their congregation to come and talk to them in private, and if it gets him talking about things, that's a massive step!

opps, hit the wrong button. Thanks goodness that is in the past, he is out on his own now, and doing fine. But it took me putting him out after years and years of unacceptable behavior. He tells me now that making him leave at 22 was the best thing I ever did for him. I think it was harder on me than him, but I wanted my sanity back.

I wanted to ask you what age your son is? Does he have a social life with friends? Does he have any special needs as far as learning? Also, I wanted to post something for about a disorder that a friend of mine's son has been diagnosed with. I will do that after I finish writing. Obviously he did not want to go to the hospital. What kind of things was he doing before he went? Was her acting out, or depressed?
Anyway, I am concerned about you. You sound really stressed out. From the few things you said about your son's behaviour he sounds very angry. I know this emotion can be considered a psych. symptom, but also can just be rage from pent up anger. I have bi-polar 2 and anger and rage are two of my symptoms when I am in a cycle of hypomania and rapid cycling. I hope you all can find the right pdoc and get some peace in your home. I so know what that is like.
Here is the info I wanted to post for you that I copied. I don't know if it will help or not. Judy


Schizo-Affective Disorder
The following description of schizoaffective disorder is taken from the educational handouts section of Behavioral Family Therapy for Psychiatric Disorders by Kim T. Mueser and Shirley M. Glynn, published by New Harbinger Publications, Inc. (www.newharbinger.com). Second edition, 1999:

Schizoaffective disorder is a major psychiatric disorder that is similar to schizophrenia. The disorder can affect all aspects of daily living, including work, social relationships, and self-care skills (such as grooming and hygiene). People with schizoaffective disorder can have a wide variety of symptoms, including problems with their contact with reality (hallucinations and delusions), mood (such as marked depression), low motivation, inability to experience pleasure, and poor attention. The serious nature of the symptoms of this disorder sometimes require clients to be hospitalized at times for treatment. The experience of schizoaffective disorder can be described as similar to "dreaming when you are wide awake"; that is, it can be hard for the person with the disorder to distinguish between reality and fantasy."

You may read about symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions and thought disorder, as well as the symptoms which affect enjoyment and attention in the section Schizophrenia. Symptoms of mania may be found under Bipolar Disorder and depressive symptoms under the section Depression.

You will realize from the description of this condition that a diagnosis may be difficult for a physician to make in the early stages. However, when a person experiences mania, depression and psychotic symptoms over a period of time, Schizoaffective disorder is the preferred diagnosis.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WORLD FELLOWSHIP FOR SCHIZOPHRENIA AND ALLIED DISORDERS
124 Merton Street, Suite 507, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 2Z2, Canada

Cap...That is SO true. Deep down I'm hoping the boy I knew will reappear someday. But until then, I'll think of him when I deal with his "evil twin"...We ALL need to remember that our loved ones are still there and we should take these "evil twins" with a grain of salt and the attitude that "this too shall pass" Lord willing sooner than later. But even if it's later, we can get thru this ONE DAY AT A TIME.

In the meantime, I journal and I wait and when it gets to a seemingly hopeless point, I go to my closet and pull out an old journal or 2 or 3 (pre-Bipolar) and I "visit" and I remember my precious little boy in the pages I wrote so long,long ago. Such a bittersweet trip. I hold those books like they were worth their weight in gold.

I wrote them so if I'd ever lose my mind, I'd know where to go to find myself again...I didn't know I'd need them to find my child, to remember him.

He's still there, somewhere beyond the illness, beyond the shouting and the tears and the frustration...there's the little boy who splashed in mud puddles and gathered pet baby "snakes" (earthworms). Then there's the church leader, the football player team captain, the actor in drama class and the Jr. class President that WAS going to run for ASB president...until he got sick. HE'S STILL THERE, somewhere. I can still be proud of him, right?? RIGHT!

I remember giving countless rides and enduring 8, 10, 12 teenage boys at a time taking over my tiny little 1,200 sq.ft. house for all night video game parties from which I'd gladly "hide" from in my room. I loved the noise, the wonderful "whooping" and beautifully normal craziness. No swearing, no fighting, no problems...Even the neighbors enjoyed the noise of good kids having good clean fun!

Everything is SO different now! The quietness (absence of joy) is as deafening as the rages...Up and down we walk this thin tightrope trying to hold onto "hope" and wondering if we'll last without pushing either ourselves or our loved ones "over the edge". Over the edge is a cold and frightening unknown place!

It's funny, Dr. Laura doesn't understand why anyone would want to JOURNAL. She thinks it's just asking for trouble.(someone else could read it!) As much as I respect her, she's SO WRONG here.

Diane,

The mom’s and ladies around you in the forum certainly sound supportive; what I’ve read sounds very loving, caring, and filled with concern. On the other hand, a man’s opinion might give you somewhat of a different slant on your 17yo son’s attitude and behavior at this point in his life. I believe Cap is very correct in suggesting that love might get buried or stuffed at times and will take time to reemerge. Almost always though, love eventually overcomes the pain/hurt, and the scars heal over. I believe Matt is your only son, and I suggest that he will be gone in a year or so. He will either be out on his own or whatever, and hopefully not locked up or in jail. But it’s true, none the less, that many boys -- at his age -- go completely crazy and especially when there’re around their mothers and they can get into a good deal of trouble. Try not to let him be too hard on you, or you on him. Yours, sounds like a bad bit of bother at the moment, but with a little luck most of the communication bridges that are now being broken down, ripped apart, and pounded on, by Matt, might hopefully be rebuilt at some future date.

As a young man, I left home on my 18th birthday…just old enough that my mom couldn’t send the police after me. In addition, I hid out in San Francisco without letting my mother know where I was living or my telephone number for nearly a year. That really caused her a good deal of mental anguish, I know. More even, than when I was living at home and we were fighting. But everything eventually worked out and for the best. I really trust that things will work out for your family, and Matt, and especially for you.

Hi Diane:  Just want you to know that you and your son are in my prayers.  I have a 27 year old son and we went through HELL with him when he was 17-22. He finally came back to us as the son we knew but not without lots of tears and prayers.  Your description of finding your son through your journals is so touching and eloquent.  Stay in touch.  Luv.....Lazy