Is This Hopeless???????

Well I know I posted to you before but I don't know if I told you that I have been with my partner for five years now (obviously I'm the one with BP).

I think we are doing just fine so I say yes to that

Smiler

gal,

yes, there is hope - but it takes saintly patience and love .  i nam 60 yrs old and my wife is almost 65.  we have been together for over 35 yrs.  i am the one with bp, but it wasn't diagnosed until 2001.  she has stayed with me when I would have kicked myself to the curb (to quote dr. phil).  if that isn't saintly, i don't know what is.  she says it's patience and understanding.  i think she's nt telling the whole truth.    she also kept with me when i acted exactly like your bf (based upon your other posts which i have commented on).  the other thing is that i acknowledge that i have a problem and am doing all that i can to help myself like learrning about the illness, findng good pdocs and taking my meds as prescribed.  also coming to this and other boards to share experiences and problems with others who have the same illness.

i can tell you stories about couples, just like yourself nd your partner, who did not make it.  the past moderater of this forum and her bf didn't make it (her bf was the one with bp). but it wasn't for lack of tryingon her part:  he refused to acknowledge that he had a problem and refused to take any action to help himself.  the former moderator is a real trooper and fantastic human being.  we haven't heard from her for a while and i pray to all the gods above and below that she is ok.

i hope that this has helped.  call it cautious optimism. 

all the best.

warren

thank you, gal. that mens a lot to me. boards are like shotguns. you put your thoughts out there and hope that a few hit the mark.

warren

 Copster-Thank you for letting me know that.The great thing is you realize it in yourself.My husband very confused,does not understand why he feels this way.I hope when he realizes,I can help him thru this.But if he still wants to leave,I love him and still want him to get help.Good luck with all of what you are going thru.

Countrygal , I hope everything goes well for you hun

Optimistik , glad to have eased your mind - there is light at the end of the tunnel

Take care both ,

Smiler

Thanks for chiming in. I do not talk to my wife because I don't want her to really see how deep I am.She knows if I am not feeling well. But I don't want to go to my phycotheripist. If I just go on and struggle through it. I am also am scared that my doctor wants me to go into the hospital. I have a 4 yesr old boy and it would be very tough to go in. I am a stay home dad (best job in the world). I don't want to go in to deep just being new to the chat room. I don't know what I want from any body. mabey just venting. I feel like I need to apoligize for my action and what i write is not to heavy.

copster,

smiler usually gives the 'official' welcome to hw and this forum, but i'm here now and, unofficially, welcome you to hw and to this forum.     feel free to ask questions, post answers or your own experiences, rant, rave, or whatever.  we're here for you.

warren

Copster - I am really happy that you have put your feelings on here. It's much easier, as you know, to talk to other people who are going through the same hardships as you are. But talk to your wife -- just because we can understand what you are going through doesnt mean we will be there for you always. Your wife will be. Bipolar Disorder is not something to be ashamed of or embarrased about. I bet your wife would love for you to come out with your true feelings. If you need any help through anything don't be afraid to email me.

For the original post =) I believe just living with BP is a success story. But, relationship wise, I have seen the good and the bad. My older relationship lasted 6 months and this was before I was diganosed. My ex helped me through everything I had a hard time with (and these were my horrible times so I don't know how he did it!) Once I was diagnosed, I got a new boyfriend that was very... indifferent to my disorder. He would change the subject erratically, and his mom would not let him drive with me because she thought my meds made me crazy in the head. It made me feel horrible.

But I realized that things will arise like that. The thing you need to know is that there will be many people that will not understand the disorder. But they are many who will =)

Take care Country Gal =) Good luck!!

Thanks Allie 1644. It is very hard for me to express my feeling.One thing I learned from my grandfather, when you are mad , don't say anything. Once you say somthing, you can never take it back. My wife gets upset with me when we are talking, we don't fight. I say what's up,she say's what she want. then we go on. I am so lucky to have a wife that will stay and go through this crap I am going through. My wife and I met when I was 16, she was 13. We have been together 6 years, and she finally told me "marry in a year or I am leaving your but. We have been together ever since. Sorry I am rambleing. I am very manic and loving it. Of cource I am making everybody very tired. they can't keep up with me and my constant talking and ideas. And boy do I have good ideas. Sorry for going on and on.....Sometime I good, but when I'm bad I'm even better.

There was a study done to evaluate the different jobs house wives (and house husban like myself)do on a daily work. The answer is......$132,000. I told my wife, I AM GETTING A NEW CAR!  I also tell my wife, if you get a boyfreind, there better be another check coming in to the household.  Having a funny lookout in life keeps me going.

I have learnd that you have to love the person for who they are. We're not going to change them.  I have also a saying in life. If you can't forgive anybody then you will lead a bitter life.You're a bigger person if you forgive others  and just walk away. Sure I have been hit on, and called alot of names. But I have never hit a person in anger or anything thing else. That is one thing I am most proud of. Signing off in wimpee vill. 

gal,

have you ever heard, "i love you enough to let you go?"  meditate on it.  maybe it will help if he is determined to take a small vacation.

copster,

listen, friend, i've been through he** and it's not at all what you are imagining.

warren