gal,
only you could quote o'niell and only smiler could quote my all-time favorite christian hymn (yes, jews can appreciate good music, no matter what its souce).
this time, gal, i'm going to have to vote with ld and smiler. as you know, i have been through a lot of things in my life - some he**s that i wouldn't even wish on my ex. but my wife and i have always come through them, usually stronger and always with growth. i disagree about there being an "essence" that remains constant. it is my expeience that this "essence" grows with adversity and in that growth helps us to live through it. i am not the same person who had a fresh new ma about 40 yrs ago. i have been tempered by adversity and have come out of it different from when i went in. but different isn't necessarily bad. fact is, i wouldn't give you a ha'penny for that egotistical idiot.
i believe that all of us are faced with these challenges. some challenges are just a bit more difficult than others. but we survive them. and in surviving them, we grow to our full potential.
there is a poemm that has been a favorite of mine for almost 50 yrs. when i was an undergraduate my profs knocked this poem unmercififully. when i was in grad school they knocked it even more. as i grew i realized that these buffoons didn't have the guts to step out of academia and were knocking the poem out of fear. the name of the poem is "invictus" and i believe that the author's name is henley.
out of the night that covers me
black as the pit from pole to pole
i thank whatever gods may be
for my unquerable soul.
through the fell clutch of circumstance
i have not winced nor cried aloud
through the bludgions of chance
my head is bloody but unbowed.
it matters not how straight the gate
nor charged with punishments the scroll
i am the captain of my fate
i am he master of my soul.
did't mean to get into all of that. but i hope there's a meaning there somewhere.
warren