Bipolar boyfriend - any advice???
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Almost 5 months ago, I met the man I had been dreaming about for a long time. I have been fine on my own, but he made me happier than I ever had believed I could be. I am 32, so I have been waiting a while for this, and wouldn't go into a relationship unless it felt really worth it. We really have a strong relationship, even though it's quite new, we share our innermost thoughts and feelings, and he has been open with me about his illness since we started the committed relationship. He is taking his meds, and is very aware of the precautions he has to take when it comes to stress, sleep and so on. He also has a great family who has always been there for him, and they have also received me with open arms.
From the very beginning, he was open about having bipolar disorder. We discussed it, and I said I wanted to know everything, and that I would always love him - no matter what. I just want to support him in the best ways possible, and learn as much as I can about the illness, and of course, specifically about his "triggers" and reactions.
I lead an active life, and he was kind of "sucked into" my life, many friends, many activities - we decided to tell my closest friends and, of course, my family about the illness. He has been on sick leave from work the last months, and has been used to leading a tranquil life. I guess with everything happening with us this just got too much for him, the sleeping pattern was not as regular as it should have been, meeting new people, being in love, telling people about the illness, Christmas coming up with many parties and gatherings and even later nights.... To cut a long story short - he broke up with me on New Years Day after being alone the whole New Years Weekend, being exhausted. He seemed coherent and well when he broke up with me, but a few days later I realized that he was not his normal self. I warned his family, his brother went to talk to him, and he was hospitalized 4 days later - voluntarily. , and a week after that he called me and said that he still loved me. Of course I took him back immideately, only to experience the same thing a week later - he broke up again. This time I didn't take him too seriously, I just deceided to wait and see what happened. A week later he called again and apologized, and said that he loved me, and wanted me to visit him at the hospital. It was so good to see him, even though he was confused. He is getting better now, still in hospital, but progressing every day, and it's great to see him when I go for visits. He is so happy that I've stuck by him through this - of course I did - that's what love is all about, if you ask me...
Still - I have learned a LOT from this, and I feel the Lord has given me patience and understanding. I truly believe that we are meant to be together, I have never met anyone like him - and he has said the same about me. I just want to be there for him in any way I can, and I have come to realize that sometimes the best way of being there for him is to withdraw and let him be alone to gain energy. I am also very much aware of not becoming his caregiver/nurse, he needs a partner, and so do I. He gives me a lot, and in many aspects he is the strong one in our relationship. But, I know that my mental health is good, and I'm more "together" than most people, and we both think this is an advantage.
He has never in his life been physically violent or suicidal, but he has been manic, psycothic (3-4 brief periods), and severely depressed (not since 2004). He has been ill around once a year the last years, always after a period of taking on too much. He has learnt a lot form this, though, and he says he has nothing to prove anymore - he just wants to spend time finding a job that can work for him in the long run, but moving slowly rather than too fast, like before...
I will appreciate any advice you may have for me on how I can support my bf, and any experiences with relationships involving bipolar disease. I really want this to work, and I know that our love is so strong. I also feel that I have learnt a lot, but I would still like to learn more.
Thank you for reading my story.
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