waiting for the wellbutrin to kick in

Hi again, crashed about a week ago. im just sitting here waiting for the wellbutrin to kick in if it ever does. i hope i dont go manic on it. im so tired of this merry go round. i feel like im running around my head bumping into things. so many doors none of them labeled. long hall ways. so much stuff all over the place. what is all this stuff? I just want to lay here until i die sometimes. its so hard to pull myself out of this. i imagine an elevator in my head and i get in it. i go down to the second floor which happens to be my heart. i get off the elevator, i cozy up next to my heart its peaceful here, the sound of my heart pumping puts me back into the womb. which is soothing. i can bearly hear the muffled crazy noises from my brain. I am safe. This is where i will stay.
Hugs to everyone out there suffering.

Carolyn

I was diagnosed about 3 or 4 months ago, i cant remember. i also have anxiety disorder, taking klonopin for the past four years doesnt do good things to your memory. but does stop the panic attacks. I take Topamax 100mg twice a day. I started that about a month or so ago.  and now this is my third day on wellbutrin 100 mg sr in the am. doc has to be careful with me cause im on soooo many other meds for sooo many other medical problems. im extremely sensitive to sri's, they make me manic, not the good kind of manic but the bad kind. I dont feel better yet, but i do feel different which i guess is better. I'm praying now that i just level off and not get manicky. I go to a DBSA group that meets twice month in Riverside. With out them,and my faith in the Lord, I probably would have killed myself last week end. Everyone needs to have faith in something besides themselves. It helps to reach outside of ourselves for comfort. It also helps to try to help someone who is suffering with the same thing . I hope that anything I say at least helps one person.

HUGS

Carolyn

Thanks for all you do!