Ellie1,
Before I forget, I have not see you on HW for a while, so welcome back I'm sorry things are not well for you.
If you need to admit yourself to a hospital, there is nothing wrong with that. I admitted myself in January 2007, December 2006, and July 2005. And there was nothing wrong with that, it was a good and safe place to be. Were you weren't left to roam alone.
I too have been suffering from mixed episodes lately, but my pdoc caught it ealy, and I am on 60mg 2x/day of Geodon. Aside from making me like a zombie, it had calmed me down at least 80%. I was having a mjor ragefest, which is not that bad anymore. And it has helped other things like concentration, the earge to spend money, and the racing thoughts just to name a few.
Please hang in there and know we are here for you if you need us. Best wishes on the Lamictal.