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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 10/1/2007 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. I moved this posting from another thread for flbutterfly: Please respond to it here.
Thanks, Olivia
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Hi everyone, I am new to this forum but hopefully can share my experiences and gain more education. I have had bipolar disorder for the past 8 years, and seem to get mixed episodes mostly and they are terrible at the time. For me, taking my medicine and seeing a counselor is a must.

I was doing well until this week. I had a total colectomy on August 8 of this year and didn't get my medication for a month, which has just thrown me off balance. I wasn't able to swallow my medication and my insurance wouldn't pay for liquid meds as they were too expensive. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks.

I went back to work today and can feel myself falling apart. It was a stressful day and I've been so happy in the last month with shopping, cleaning, and staying up later and sleeping later in the mornings. I've also been depressed which together for me is a lethal combination.

Last week I saw my counselor and told him that I didn't feel sick like the others in his office and wanted not to rely on him so much. Boy was I wrong. Now I'm in a tailspin and almost afraid to call and say that I need his help. I guess that sometimes I'm too cocky and don't want to admit to others that I'm bipolar as most people don't know that I am. My husband is wonderful and has worried that I'm manic because of my spending sprees lately. I kept telling myself that it wasn't cause I've had to buy new clothes since surgery to fit. I've lost a lot of weight and I've heard that anesthesia can cause changes in us, too, so I keep thinking that maybe I'm ok. I didn't like exercising before surgery, but now am walking everyday for my motility disorder, and eating healthy.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm at the point where I'm not sure if I'm alright or just too many changes going on right now. I'm a creature of habit usually.

Lori

Post Edited (olivia of course) : 10/2/2007 11:31:58 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/1/2007 11:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hi flbutterfly, welcome. We're glad you're here.

It sounds like you have been through some extraordinarily stressful times these past couple of months. I'm sorry about the colectomy. That must have been quite difficult. It's a horrible shame the insurance wouldn't cover the liquid meds. It's not surprising at all your mood is suffering now that the situation is quieting down a bit.

I imagine that any counselor working with bipolar patients has been told several times that his or her services are no longer necessary by manic patients who think they're fine. Definitely call him back and make an appointment. I doubt he will hold it against you. You probably are relatively healthy compared with many of his patients. If you feel awkward, apologize, but I bet he won't be surprised to hear from you.

I also think a call to your psych doc might be in order just to bring him or her up to speed on what's been happening and see if he has any recommendations on how to proceed.

Thanks for joining us.
Posted 10/2/2007 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
Lori,

Welcome to the Bipolar forum, I'm glad you found us.

As Serafena said, wow! you are going through rough times lately. Hang in there!

You should definetly call your counselor and explain to him your situation, once he knows where you are he might be willing to help you.

Maybe you are not manic, but you have had lifestyle changes that seem like you are manic. What symptoms are you having that make you think you are having a manic episode?

Please keep us updated on how things are going.
Posted 10/3/2007 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lori,

Welcome to HW.  Wow, you've had a rough time.  I too have trouble with mixed states, and it truly is awful.  Mixed states are something that should always be taken very seriously, b/c they can be very risky and dangerous.  So definitely call your pdoc asap.  This needs to be addressed so you can feel better.

I totally know what you mean about not needing the frequent appointments when we're feeling somewhat stable.  It's easy to feel like we don't need help when we feel well.  So don't worry about that.  Just call and get in as soon as you can.

Try to watch your moods and behaviours.  It sounds like you are acknowledging things are getting out of control, which is step one, so good for you.  Now you just have to take extra care of yourself.  Take things slow.  You have been through so much so it's natural that you feel so overwhelmed, and that symptoms are emerging.  You need to get better, take it slow and use your supports.

Please let us know how you're doing.

Posted 10/4/2007 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
Serafena, it's good to meet you..  I took your advice and called my counselor's office for an appointment, but he can't see my until Wednesday of next week for an hour.  I'll be alright until I see him and you're right that he'll understand, too.  I've been seing him for 7 years and he knows me inside out.  I trust him with everything.  I can ask him about anything and he'll give me a straight answer and uses all of his counseling knowledge to help me stay on track.  Before surgery, I was scared out of my whits.  He researched everything about GI problems and colectomies to help me feel better and form affirmations and relaxation exercise to help me.  Problem is it's difficult to relax in the throes of stress. 

 

Olivia, I'm not sure if I'm manic or not.  Do you know how you can see it right away in other people but don't want to be paranoid yourself?  When I'm manic I have trouble sleeping, can't calm down before bed, like to shop alot, and usually believe that I feel the best ever.  I was feeling the best ever last week, but maybe it's because my scars are finally healing and I can lay on my side again.  I've had to shop alot cause the surgery has caused me to lose 31 pounds in 8 weeks.  I have to eat lots of small meals all day.  I've gone from a size 18 to near a size 12.  I work in an Accounting office and have to dress nice so didn't have any size 12-14 clothes.  I slept wonderful while I was home and cut back on my seroquel.  My husband is worried because he has noticed all of the shopping and not being able to sleep.  It may be normal just because of stress from this and going back to work.

 

Mogli, I hate that you have mixed states, too.  They are not any fun.  I tend to usually be more on the depressed side, so when I go manic it usually isn't good.  My insurance doesn't pay for my counselor and he's $120 an hour, so it easy not to want to admit that I really need to see him.  The scary part is that I've never taken exercise seriously and my counselor has always said that it's a great release.  I'm walking alot lately for my motility disorder, and the stress in me isn't going away.  I tend to draw into myself when I feel my bipolar symptoms coming on.  My husband is a wonderful support but cringes when I go downhill even though I can't help it.  It's part of me. 

 

You've all been really supportive and I appreciate all your bulletins.  I hope to be just as supportive to all of you.  Are any of you going through tough times right now, too, or are you in one of the more peaceful periods?

 

Lori

 

 

 

 

 

Posted 10/4/2007 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
Stick around Lori. We all have our ups and downs on a weekly basis. :) You'll see soon enough. I've been pretty stable recently but I'm having trouble with vertigo, which is really getting annoying, and starting to get on my nerves. It's been a good 6 weeks or more now.
Posted 10/4/2007 6:51 PM (GMT 0)

Hi, Serafena.. I'm sorry about the vertigo.  I haven't ever had it, but hear that it can be miserable.  My mom had it for 2 months and said that her coordination was all off.  She couldn't walk in a straight line.  Her ears didn't hurt, but she felt wobbly the entire time she said.  I hope that your's goes away soon.

Lori

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