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Feeling down today.

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Posted 5/19/2008 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
I was good for 2 days but today I am feeling down again. Or maybe I am just tired. Also have a pdoc appointment today and I am a little anxious about that. I don't know why. I like her but I am just feeling anxious about it today. I think I had a dream that upset me last night because I vaguely remember crying in my dreams. So maybe that is why I am feeling down? Anyway, how is everyone else today? <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_287711-->


Posted 5/19/2008 2:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Twisted,

 

How are you doing today? Did your pdoc appt. help?

 

I understand about the upsetting dreams. I get them a lot. I usually wake the house up by screaming or yelling in my dreams!!!!! sad  

 

I use to get anxiety about my pdoc appts. Just thinking about re-hashing everything that has been going on with me since we last met. Then I looked forward to it, because I knew I would be able to share with someone who TOTALLY understands what it is like for me. Lately it seems I just can't wait to see her just to Let It All Out and BREATHE!

Hope you're feeling better. 

 

Posted 5/19/2008 3:00 PM (GMT 0)
I have been up and down today. The dr. was glad that I took in my mood chart. Honestly, I don't think she has ever seen a patient actually do one. They just don't do that here. We talked a lot. I was telling her that I wrote a letter to dh that I feel like I am alone in this and that I wish he was more available and that I got no response and as we were talking he sent me a message saying good morning and that he loves me. It made my day, until I started feeling down again. LOL.

Anyway, she upped my meds from one a day to two a day. The zoloft she left it at one a day because she doesn't want to send me into mania more than I already have gone this week. so we will see again in two weeks if it is helping or not. then we'll go from there.

It was good to talk to her. I really like coming to the boards and talking to you guys but as you say, it is good to be able to let it all out.
Posted 5/19/2008 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
That sounds like a pretty productive pdoc meeting. I'm glad she really listens to you. I hope the increase in meds helps.

What a sweet gesture from your husband. He wants to do right, just doesn't know how. That doesn't surprise me. You'll just have to teach him. That's not easy. Be patient with him if you can.

I'm sorry you're up and down today. Is there any way you can do something relaxing that feels good for you. Go for a walk? I'm sure saddling up 7 kids for a jaunt to the park isn't as relaxing as I mean. Any way you can get any time to yourself?

serafena
Posted 5/19/2008 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
My husband does not understand depression and he certainly doesn't understand bipolar disorder.  He has never suffered debilitating anxiety like I suffered the first four months of this year.  When I was hospitalized seven weeks ago, he felt bad because he said he didn't take my problems seriously as I feel deeper and deeper into unbearable anxiety.  I often wonder how long he would stay with me if I didn't improve as I finally did with the additiona of Zyprexa to my extensive drug cocktail.   I know it's hard for loved ones to deal with our problems.  My son on the other hand suffers from depr
Posted 5/19/2008 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hey. I am glad to hear that your doc visit went well. I had one today too and was looking forward to mine. He is a great psych and understands how I feel. I was sorry to hear that you have been feeling bad. Sorry I was off line this weekend or I would have responded to you sooner. I agree with Serafena in that your husband sounds like he wants to be there and help but just doesn't know how to. Does he read books? There is this book that I gave my parents and husband to read when I first was diagnosed. It is Win the Battle: The 3-step Lifesaving Formula to Conquer Depression and Bipolar Disorder by Bob Olson and his wife Melissa Olson. After they read it, they understood better. He writes about his experience with being diagnosed and what he went through. My husband totally understands now and goes with me to my Psych. He takes an active part in my illness and health now. Well, that is just my experience; I know that it may not work for you but I thought that I would share it.

Anyway, I hope and pray you are feeling better today. Know that I am thinking of you.
Posted 5/20/2008 2:47 AM (GMT 0)

Serafena, it was pretty productive.  My pdoc is kind of like a tdoc/pdoc, lol.  She did the best she could to put my mind at ease about some of my questions and had some of her own.  We laughed a little too.  I actually started getting a little hyper after my visit.  Then down again.  Right now it is 5:30 a.m. here so I don't really know how I feel yet except tired, lol.  I did go to bed at 9:30 last night so I got a decent nights sleep.  I also took a hot bubble bath with candles.  It helped a little but I don't seem to enjoy it very much anymore.  It just seems boring. 

Georgie Girl, Dh kind of understands depression.  He had to study about it when we lived in england a long time ago.  He tries his best but as serafena said, he doesn't quite know how.  He has a lot of his own stress from work and stuff so it is hard for him to switch sometimes.  I think if he didn't work so much it would help.  But he actually told me that he stays out of the house so much because of my moods.   We'll work it out eventually. Sometimes I wonder how he has stayed with me for so long.  I guess they must really love us huh? LOL

Missflip. don't worry about not respinding earlier.  we all have lives, lol.  I hope that you are feeling better too.  Dh hates to read.  I printed some things out for him to read and I am having a hard time getting him to read that.  He has to read files all day at work and he doesn't want to read at home.  It is kind of frustrating because he needs to learn more about it and he knows he does too but I also understand.  He just doesn't like to read, plus if its long he absolutely hates it.  thinking of you too. 

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