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From DarkDreamer - Need advice on living with BiPolar Wife? pt. 2

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 5/26/2008 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
From DarkDreamer

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Hello

I am looking for help understanding my Wife. We have been married for 7.5 years. We have had a rocky time. We had to try for 5 years to have a Child but we were sucsefull. He is now almost 2 years old. After his birth she suffered from Post Tramatic Stress Dissorder. Well while deeling with that she was put in the hospital with Acute Histo Plasmosis in her lungs. To heal that they gave her Steroids to heal her lungs and the docters think that that is what gave her Bi-Polar. It has gone from Bad to worse. She has been seeking help. She has been in mental health care centers 3 times for suicide and depresion. now this time she got out and started drinking and now she is sleeping with other men. How do i help her and live with her at the same time. she gose out with the other men almost every night like she hates me. but she says she is still confused with what she wants. i am trying to help her find it but she is pushing me away so fast i dont have a chance to help her. Please help me help her. we are only 27 years old with so much of our life and our sons life left to go help

Post Edited (Olivia05) : 5/26/2008 1:01:08 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/26/2008 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
There's no right answer to this as it is a very difficult situation.

First of all, if she does not want to take care of herself you can not force her to. According to what you've said, it is doubtful she is taking her medication or doing the necessary activities to keep her mind and body healthy. Also doubtful she's being honest with a therapist or pdoc. The first step is to make sure she gets the proper treatment. She doesn't sound like she's stable or in the right frame of mind but only she can get herself back there with effort.

Make sure you set boundaries and limits, do not allow yourself to be used and abused. Bipolar people are more prone to make bad choices, but for her to go out with other men leaving you in the dust and obviously an unhealthy situation for your child is unacceptable and you have to let that be known. Bipolar disorder, while difficult to cope with, should not be used as an excuse for someone's actions.

If I were you, I'd tell her if she didn't try and better herself then you'd have to leave and seek custody of the child, and be ready to back it up.

At the same time, don't give up on her and try to be there for her emotionally.

I'm so sorry your going through this.
Posted 5/27/2008 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Darkdreamer,

Welcome to HealingWell. I hope you can find some community and advice here.

It sounds like you are going through a very painful and confusing time right now. Is your wife seeing her psychiatrist right now? Her doctor must know that she's having a very acute manic phase and that your marriage is in danger. Unfortunately this is fairly common with bipolar. If you can hange on, you will be amazing. Of course, be safe if she is sleeping with strange men.

The hard part to digest is that while her decisions are influenced by the disorder, she is still aware of what she is doing and she is still making her own decisions. There is a part of her that could stop if she wanted to. Keep that in mind, because if she will not follow through with her medical treatment and /or won't come home, you need to take care of your son and yourself first. She is responsible for herself. You can only help her in so much that you can try to influence her decisions, try and convince her to see her doctors and follow her treatments and stick to her medications. If she won't do those things, you don't have a lot of options, I'm sorry to say.

good luck.
serafena
Posted 5/27/2008 4:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Northstar,

Welcome to HealingWell. Why not start a New Thread and tell us a little bit about yourself?

serafena
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