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does my wife sound bipolar and will she doe this again?

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 8/6/2008 1:51 AM (GMT 0)
I have now been married to my wife for just over 6 years. about one year into the marriage I caught her in her first lie to me. Since then I have learned that she has always been willing to lie to get her way or hide something she didnt want known. She is also very noncfrontational afraid of any confrontation in fact. We have never ahd a yelling screaming fight. we have generally hid any negative emotions from the other.

a little over 3 months ago I came home to find her and our 2 children (1 and 3 yo) gone. The next day I learned she had falsely accused me of 1) sexually abusing my daughter, 2) wanting to go an a shooting rampage 3) having child ****ography, 4) abusing her emotionally and physically. after reporting this she checked into the local battered womans shelter, where she stayed for a few days before dissappearing and going to another state. She contacted one of her friends and said if i can stay here 6 months I can divorce him and keep the kids.

I have subsequently been cleared of all her allegations and was able to get legal custody in my home state and the state where she was living. While she was there she continued the story that she was fleing from this monster abusive husband who sexually molested her daughter. I was able to take physical custody of my kids last weekend.

I also conversed whith her last weekend and it was NOT the same person I had been married to. I confronted her directly with all the accusations that had been written in the offical report. She denied almost all of it and just claimed to be trying to get to the bottom of "why our daughter was saying what she was saying, and why her behavior changed" Of course there had been no change in our daughters behavior. she denied making allegatins that I physically abused her and that i wanted to go on a rampage. Another interesting thing is the morning of the day she left I kissed her goodbye and she acted very contented at the kiss. When I asked her about it she replied " I am savoring the moment"

my question is does this sound bipolar (I have had some people that know her use that term) and if it is what are the odds of her doing the same thing again at some point?
Posted 8/8/2008 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi TJME,

Welcome to the board and to HealingWell. I'm sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. I am no doctor, and as far as I know, neither is anyone else on this board. I couldn't tell you if your wife is bipolar. But without talking about extreme mood shifts on a regular basis, I wouldn't know what to say. Something appears to have scared your wife. I couldn't begin to guess what. I am terribly sorry for what you've endured.

Good luck,
serafena
Posted 8/28/2008 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

 

My daughter -law was just diagnosed with bp w/physhosis (sp?) My son loves her and his children and is in complete denial - how can we as a family get him the help he needs in order to understand the illness and help her?

 

She was hospitalized for only 6 days and cannot be alone with the kids - she is once again starting the behaviors that led to her breakdown....we need help....thanks. smurf

Posted 8/29/2008 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Alice,

First, what kind of treatment is your DIL getting now? Is she seeing a psychiatrist? Is she on medications? Second, your son needs to recognize that she is very sick and he needs some support in learning how to manage her illness. Counseling is the best thing for this, if you can convince them of it. She should definitely be seeing a therapist anyway, but if they had some kind of couples counseling, they could plan for how to manage her bipolar together. It definitely takes two. Bipolar is a difficult disorder to plan around. They both need support.

serafena
Posted 8/29/2008 11:59 AM (GMT 0)
God Bless you, Serafina - you've said what we have been thinking...DIL was hospitalized for 6 days and is on Seroquel.  She won't let my son have access to final diagnosis - she has always been manipulative.  Dr. first told son it was BP w/phychosis, now she is saying it was only ppart and exhaustion...however, she was threatening people, talking to television and magazines, seeing things and completely paranoid - baby is 4 months old.

My son is on classic denial and wants to believe that it really is PP.  He is 41 years old and I can't drag them for help...I am scared for my grandbabies....she has also tried to turn 3 year old grandson against his dad and I found it on a video that my son gave me for safe keeping.

This is a mess and I am so scared....

Posted 8/29/2008 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
Even if it is post partum, (which it could be) the psychosis can be just as severe and scary. But she still needs to see a doctor regularly for treatment. You need to sit your son down privately and have a heart to heart. Leave the children out of it for now, and just talk about getting her well. Express your concern for her well being, tell him what you have observed, tell him that you want her to go back to the doctor because she needs regular monthly checkups with post partum disorder, and trust the doctors to do the rest. The seroquel will calm the mania and the psychosis but it won't regulate her moods, and it sounds like it's no longer working very well on the psychosis either, so she needs a check up to get her meds worked on again.

I don't mean to suggest that your concerns about the children aren't very important. They certainly are. If she gets truly psychotic and your son remains steadfastly in denial, you may need to do the truly frightening thing and call in child protection services. You can't take the children from the house yourself, but you can call and register your fears and let the professionals check it out. I know that would be heartbreaking, but as a last-place measure, it is an option you have to protect those children.

serafena
Posted 9/22/2008 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
I am the orignal poster. My wife has had a psychological evaluation and been diagnosed with an Axis-I disorder that is not Bipolar. I think leaves schizophrenia for this particular case. Not positive as she refuses to tell me what the diagnosis is.
Posted 9/22/2008 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi tjme,

Welcome back. I'm so sorry your original post got hijacked. I'm not surprised your wife won't tell you what the diagnosis is. Are you still together?

serafena
Posted 9/23/2008 6:13 PM (GMT 0)

why are you not suprised?

togther is a relative term. I had to file for divorce to be able to get a custody order for the kids. We are nto living together. I am hopefull she will get treatment and maybe we can save the marriage.

Posted 9/23/2008 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
I am not surprised because she's lied to you in the past and because people with mental illnesses tend to play them very close to their chests. You are not the only spouse here on the board who does not know what disorder his/her spouse has been diagnosed with. Especially once the marriage starts to deteriorate, what motive would she have for telling you if it was something you could potentially use against her?
Posted 9/24/2008 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
See post "For Lamp1969"

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 9/24/2008 10:08:44 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/24/2008 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
Lamp1969-- I moved your post to a New Post, because tjme's original thread has already been taken over once. Your post is now called "For 1969" and you can find it on the main "Bipolar Disorder" page.

Thanks,
serafena
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