Not sure what to think-new member

Ok to put this in a nut shell. Hi I am new here.

I have been on antidepressents for like 9 years. I did go off for about a year and had to go back on. lasted one year no problems on what I was taking.

So in march I could feel myself coming down, so I went to reg doc who has done my meds. We upped my anti-depr. Was fine, than started to feel what I call destructive, drinking, smoking, not wanting to be around anymore-my theory is -if I get in my car and drive away, I will be gone. Than I realize I will still be somewhere.  So we went onto lamictal. He started saying bi-polar. I started saying what? I didnt realize that my actions were going in that direction.

It all started when my grandpa became ill and we needed to get into contact with my mom, who left me when I was a child and was in and out of my life since. So I guess this would have been a trigger. he has passed.

I have never had the mania side. Just the depressed. I was taking effexor but it was bringing me down. so went on lexapro with the lamictal. Life was good. but not quite there. so we tried seroquel --my body hates it.

My gp and I have a open honest relationship, I could be open with him and honest. So now he is telling me to go see a PDOC. I did not like this. I feel rejected that he is giving up. I know he is a reg MD, but why.

I dont want to go to someone who wants to mess with my meds, and make me worse. I dont want to explain myself anymore to anyone, I am doing OK not but not great. Is there really ever a great day.

I am in counseling which we are building on the relationship thing. I just dont like new.

Is this a ok feeling, is this the way I should feel, this all so new to me.

Will I always be switching meds and such.

Krista

Hi eye2797,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the forum. Glad you joined us.

I think hlayne summed it up pretty well -- you can see your GP for most problems, but after a certain point you're going to need to see a specialist. You've been depressed and medication-resistant long enough now that it's time to see a pdoc. GP's are great, but they have no where near the breadth of knowledge that pdocs do. Will a pdoc play with your meds? Maybe. That depends on your diagnosis. It sounds like your gp doesn't even really understand how to diagnose you -- another excellent reason to see a psychiatrist. I doubt he's rejecting you -- I'm sure he'll still see you for other ailments. I bet he's just reached the limits of his knowledge in this area.

Bipolar does exist on a spectrum and there is a kind of bipolar -- Bipolar II (this is the kind I have) -- which doesn't suffer from the traditional manias associated with typical bipolar. Bipolar IIs suffer more from depression, but when they get manic they get itchy, irritable, angry, confused, unable to concentrate, stressy. They might spend a lot of money or make rash decisions but not usually as badly as Bipolar I's do. So perhaps when your doctor suggested you were bipolar, he wasn't thinking of bipolar I but bipolar II. There are a lot of links under the Bipolar Disorder Resources post that will take you to pages which discuss the bipolar spectrum if you'd like to learn more about it.

Will you always be switching meds? No, not always, but it can take a long time to find a med cocktail that really works for you. There's a period of trial and error that we all go through. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. It is really tiresome and the side effects are the worse, but hang in there and something will help you stabilize. You'll find something to make you feel almost normal again.

good luck,
serafena