Thank-you BP Gemini. Actually, I made it through the appointment ok and even got a little help. The problem for me is, I live in Nova Scotia, Canada, and there is a serious shortage of pdocs. It took over eighteen months to get an appt. with this one so he could be Atilla the Hun and I'd still have been thrilled to see him. It isn't easy to shop for pdocs here. He actually used the f word on my first visit and I didn't call him on it. I just let it go by. I don't know if it was some kind of test or what. The mind games. My mother is a retired pdoc and she plays lots of mind games. I never really had a childhood. I was doing her homework for med school when I was ten, as well as looking after her other two children, catering parties, managing the household budget and going grocery shopping. No wonder I'm mixed up. Anyway, I was able to get to discuss the meds with him (the pdoc) today and wasn't intimidated by that cold stare which he gives over the top of his glasses. We ended the session in a compromise which i feel was progress b/c last visit he cut my anti-anxiety meds by two-thirds. This visit I got one third back and can live with that.
One problem I am having with all my doctors is that I'm caring for my aging father who has stage two, Alzheimers. Every one of my docs say "put him in a nursing home". We are from a farming family and we care for our aging parents as long as we possibly can. Both my grandparents, my Dad's Mom and Dad, were angels and asked only that they be allowed to pass in their own home. My father and I made sure that happened. Now it's my Dad's turn and I cannot envision putting him in a locked unit. He is an big man, physically very strong and has a fierce temper. He would die very soon after he loses his freedom to go out, play with the dogs, look at the sky, the trees, etc. So, I cannot be totally honest when the pdoc asks if I have taken steps to turn dad's care to the gov't. His name is on a waiting list but it's a very long list, and I'm not pushing the issue. My sibs are self-absorbed and not in the picture. One is also BiPolar but won't get help, so she is a destructive entity. The other, a brother, considers himself depressed but functions very well, in his own little world. So, here I'm beginning to ramble. Forgive me. I am glad you found a med combo that is working well right now. It is a wonderful thing.