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Posted 7/27/2009 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
Well I gave up my c.c. and my husband went in and change all my paswords to get into any kind of shopping sight. I hate it but I know that it is something that I have to do. I hope someday I will be responsable enough to use them again. I just wanted to tell you all espacialy Sukay that I gave up and gave in. I know it is what is best for our family but at the same time it makes me feel like crap. I feel like I let this win and now I am back in my depression and some restless ness. Hope you all are doing well.

SLZ eyes

Posted 7/27/2009 7:02 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Slz,

Please don't feel depressed.  You are showing great strides that you have recognized a manic trait that you are going through and were STRONG enough to conquer it by doing something POSITIVE about it!  Good for you!  You know what the alternative would have been. That would have been losing!

So once the medication has time to work and you get more leveled out you will be able to resume your internet shopping.  Manic episodes don't last forever and you're on the right track!

Good For You!!!! yeah wink

Posted 7/27/2009 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thank You Sukay for all your help!!
Posted 7/27/2009 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
wanted to let you know my wife has all my credit cards and now i don't have to worry bout that anymore:)
Posted 7/28/2009 1:54 AM (GMT 0)
thanks thomas Now I know that I am not the only one.

SLZ
Posted 7/28/2009 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
slz,
My husband also gave up all control over money to me. He hated it too at first but now has come to terms with it. He was really good for almost three months so I gave him access to one credit card for emergencies. But if he charges ANYTHING on it without talking to me first, he knows that it will be taken away for good.

As his doctor said to him, it's normal for the person who does not suffer from BP to control almost all of the money. It's a matter of protection. Protecting your credit score, protecting your savings, protecting your money - possibly even protecting you and your husband from becoming homeless!

I am so proud of you for giving up the credit cards. It's hard to do even without BP. But you did the right thing and you should be proud of yourself! It was very strong of you to do so! You took control of your actions and that is worth giving yourself a HUGE pat on the back!

BPWife
Posted 7/28/2009 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
bp wife,
Thank you for your response. I think someday I will slowly get the cards back to but it could take a while. I know that my husband can do all the work with keeping them away from me and he will. I realy doses hurt realy bad not to have even a debit card. I think oh yeah I can go get this or that and then think how you going to get it with no debit card? I do get a $20 a week allowance that I can spend on what ever I want but it makes me think do I realy need that and when the money runs out it runs out and you will not get more for another week. I am tring to save a little a week so I can get something big some day. Thanks for your support.

SLZ
Posted 7/29/2009 1:51 AM (GMT 0)
GREAT JOB, YOU GO!!!!
Posted 7/29/2009 11:41 AM (GMT 0)
sharan.
I have a minie doxie I love him. He is 13 weeks old.

SLZ
Posted 7/29/2009 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
slz,
I know it hurts not to have that "freedom" of having credit cards or a debit card but you are doing the right thing! I told my husband that this is the way it was going to be and boy was he mad! But he eventually got used to it.

I really like that you are even thinking of saving part of your allowance so you can purchase something nice for yourself as a reward. Good job! :)

As I said, this is all done to protect you (and your husband). Maybe after a while your husband can set up an account for you that he deposits the allowance into. That's what I do for my husband. He has a debit card through his account but there's not much on it and only gets deposits twice a month. If he doesn't have any money in the account - he just can't buy anything. There's no asking for more.

Right now it sucks but in time I think you'll be glad you did it and it will all work out.

Congrats again!

BPWife
Posted 7/31/2009 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
Great job SLZ! It sounds like you are on your way to better days.

Recognition of a problem and taking the first steps to dealing with it are the biggest obstacle.

Post Edited (Retta) : 7/31/2009 1:29:36 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/1/2009 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
Excellent work SLZ. I know that was a hard one.

serafena
Posted 8/4/2009 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Trust me...I have been in your shoes. It does feel like crap but it is absolutely what is needed. Good for you for taking that step.
Posted 8/4/2009 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
I haven't given all of the cards to my husband- but sometimes I think I probably should. It's just that he is so busy that he doesn't have time to buy groceries, children's clothes, pick up medications. He approves lists and I get what is on the list. I am not supposed to go beyond what is on the list (although I add a few things while I am there) and have to discuss with him any shopping before making the purchase. I seem to "nickle and dime" our money away. He has taken over all of the bills and makes the $$$ decisions for our family.
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