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WIFE WITH BP

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Posted 9/3/2009 4:05 PM (GMT 0)

I'm quite sure my bipolar wife has had affairs, and that at least one is likely on-going. She insists that is not the case, but I have caught her lying about so many minor events that I do not trust her.

It is easier for me to believe she has had an affair and deal with that (and on some levels it is OK with me, my only requirements are that she is open and honest about it), than to believe she is telling the truth when she denies it. All of the signs point to an affair, including a meeting with HR at her work. I feel like an gullible lout when I think I she is telling me the truth.

I have been reading the posts on here and other sites for a while.

My biggest concern is that I do not have what it takes to keep my job, my health, her health, and the health of our 15-year marriage in tact. I, and our marriage, have already taken so many damaging hits from her disease that I am at wits end.

Being married to a BP spouse truly is hell. At least we don't have kids.

Posted 9/3/2009 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
MGS... one thing you need to remember is that your wife is sick....and most of her attention right now should be on getting healthy. The nature of the disease makes us not able to handle stresses sometimes. Especially when we are going through a med change or something.

Do you have the resources to hire a babysitter for a couple of hours after school while your wife is regulated?

Bipolar is hard for spouses to fully understand...but trust me, it is no picnic for us to be going through it either. It wounds like she is overwhelmed right now. I think it might help you to get some therapy of your own that is geared toward learning about the disorder....especially if you plan on staying with her.
Posted 9/8/2009 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
when do you let go & head in another direction with out her. she is not taking the meds correctly
Posted 9/8/2009 6:45 PM (GMT 0)
opps sorry she isn't taking the meds correctly she still takes some of the meds that the dr stopped & is taking more of one med then precribed she keeps saying her panic attacks are getting worse so thats why she takes more meds dr proscribed 3mg of kolonpin a day she takes 6mg dr stopped doxapin she still takes it to try & control her panic attacks depression
Posted 9/8/2009 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
well i would honestly get her into see her therapist and explain the situation. only you know when it is time for you to move on. have you tried all options? do you feel in your heart that it is over?

if so meet with an attorney and see what you have to do before you leave. get your ducks lined in a row and then leave. make sure your kids are safe and be prepared for her to sink lower. you may have to take custody of the kids(if there are kids) because she will sink lower. i would also meet with her therapist and tell him you are planning on leaving her so he can take the necessary steps to help her especially if she gets suicidal. first and fore most meet with attorney then her therapist and maybe have her therapist be there when you break the news to her that you are leaving her.
Posted 9/8/2009 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
She needs to get back into the psych. She is not doing herself a favor by screwing around with the meds. If she is not supposed to be taking one anymore, maybe you should get rid of it. But definitely let the psych know because she may be getting too much of one or not enough of another. Too bad, she will not get to see if meds are working if she does not do it correctly.
Posted 9/9/2009 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
Only you will know when you need to move on, MGS. There certainly isn't a limit or a rule that anyone can set for you. Non-compliant bipolar sufferers are notoriously hard to live with. I would really recommend some therapy for you, if you're not already there, because you're looking for answers that you can only gain from introspection. Therapy can be really helpful with that.

serafena
Posted 9/9/2009 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
Ensign100,

Remember not all bipolars are alike. Some of us make very good spouses. Please keep your comments respectful.

serafena
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