Posted 10/22/2009 1:07 AM (GMT 0)
I posted a bit of this in another part here. Sometimes illness and a disorder come to a crossroads and cause a mighty wreck.
I'm recovering from a radical prostatectomy because of a cancer diagnosis.
I suppose today is the start of the long road wondering and waiting.
I think I've been very lucky so far. If getting this is lucky at all.
Wife, who is a nurse at the Uro clinic and dragged me to the screening pulled the catheter this AM. I had a small drip when I stood up about 15 minutes later. I passed blood and clots. I only wore two incontinence pads yesterday and only changed the first one because of the blood stains and initial moistness.
Today, one pad all day. My bladder gets about half full and I go. I manage to go two hours now until I have to go. When I get out of the car and have to spread my weight I drip a bit. Or when I yell at my dogs.
Stress incontinence I guess is what it is called. The surgeon is ecstatic that recovery is going so well.
I read guys stories on here in the prostate cancer forum, and compare stage from my biopsy and keep on thinking Elvis has left the building and it's just a matter of time before they find him. It will be three months before my first post-op PSA. With my history of chronic prostate inflammation and the 3.5 PSA I don't believe they will find anything then. But I still think about it. With capsule and perinueral invasion I just keep thinking something got out.
I've been pretty upbeat over the whole ordeal but now feel depressed. I don't know if this is natural or it is my bi-polar acting up. I'd really thought I had that disorder beat and was enjoying life for the first time in 40 years. Then this.
Manic depression teaches the afflicted to always look over your shoulder for the next bout of misery.
So I'm not sure what is going on. I know that I feel so helpless just waiting.
I am depressed.
OBB