I wrote him a NICE email.. ( see blue writing at bottom) then the top paragrahp is his NASTY UNCALLED for response....
Im packing my bags n getting myself and my kids the hell outta here. Im DONE
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Pad my world?? Are you kidding me? YOU are the CAUSE of the overwhelming majority of my stress. You just do not see it. Never had the police to my house in 45 years. Twice in the last two months. Never had kids literally destroying the house and then lying about it. I have tried my best to accomodate everything but this situation is all stress on ME. I have not had a moment to myself in two months. You seem perfectly content with leaving the kids with me all the time and for me to handle the majority of childcare issues (which you admitted yesterday) The financials are ALL on me. The kids just do not listen. It is the accumulation of DOZENS of little things. I go to take a shower this morning. Bathroom is a mess with kids clothes all over. (remember how the kids were not supposed to use our bathroom??). I find a disgustingly full toilet. I mean can't the kid even flush the toilet??? I have asked him at least a dozen times. It s a WHOLE lot of little things that just add up. And you sit and watch and do nothing! Last night: You leave it for me to tell the kid to go to bed last night at 1230 am bc he is still playing the video game you told him to stop hours before!!! Why is that on me? You were right beside me. I even asked you to and you said for me to do it!! Why does that fall on me? You say you try and fix things? I have never had so many things break!! Glasses, tables, chairs, desks, games, toys, floors, lights, and on and on. It bothers me. And it bothers me that you don't do anything. You yell at jakab for running up and down the steps bc it gets on your last nerve. (mine too). You say the next time he does it he is grounded. He did it four more times in the next hour and you did nothing. That's why he does not listen. Every single thing falls on me. Whether it be setting the rules WE agree on, enforcing the rules WE agree on or even getting the kids to bed. ALL on me! When i get the kids to bed on nights you are not here, they are down at 930 last night you "put the girls down" but they watch a movie until after 11 and you do nothing. They do better when you are not there. And you tell your dr that you let me talk to jakab about calling emily fat to "make me feel comfortable about getting involved in discipline etc??? What a con job!!! When we talked about the situation i said YOU needed to get more involved and YOU needed to talk to jakab. The truth is exactly the opposite of what you told him. i dont want more involvement I NEED LESS!!!!!! You had me do it bc you would rather not have that conversation or know that you can't. As I have said numerous times: you seem to rather NOT have anything to do with the kids for the most part whether it be playing or talking or correcting. I am doing 90% of all of that! You leave it to me. We were both lying in the same bed and you asked me to tell jakab to get off the video games and go to bed at 1230 am! Why? And You try and pad my world??? That is a joke!! That is the thing you do not understand. It is not just about the water bill. I have said over and over again that something had to give. I told you yesterday that you need to get more involved with your kids. It was nit just about the darn water bill you were supposed to pay last week and subsequently lost. It is many things that I have told you about that either you fail to do anything about, refuse to do anything about or can't do anything about.
This particular bill was supposed to be Done by you. You told me you would take care of it and for three days nothing happened even though you were home all day until after three pm. According to you it would only take five mins and yet it was never done. You just did not do it as you have failed to pay other bills. What really set me off is you criticising me about bills and telling me you ALWAYS pay your bills. And you say I waited until the shutoff date. Are you kidding??? You were supposed to pay it last week! And Who paid your last four or five car notes??? Your mom paid two. You stole the money from me to pay the others. I mean seriously??? You think you pay your bills?? Well maybe but with my money! Every time you fail to do something related to financial situations it all comes back. I am in this situation bc of you! I have gotten all kinds of calls from discover this weekend bc they want their money that YOU used to pay YOUR bills and you preach to me how you always pay your bills!!??? What should I tell them???? I have hesitated to tell them anything bc I don't want to get you in trouble but I don't have the money either!! And your comment that I did not have to pay the bank back the debit card money is only bc they are still investigating you!!! I keep that in reserve so you won't go to jail if they catch up with you. Just bc the bank MAY have written it off means it's ok???
You were saying you were going to pay the water bill but never did. It brings back the last 12 months. How many times have you told me you were "going to pay me back" from LAST August? How many checks bounced? How many pay pal paymetns to me were denied? How many pay back promises were broken. You also said you would pay the terminex bill and never did. So when you say you were going to pay something I do not believe you. You can say the money from the debit card and discover were bc of the drugs and you don't remember but this issue goes back over a year and much longer with money issues with your family.
you simply have no credibility. And THAT is why I over reacted. So you can say how much this morning was an over reaction from a water bill in a vacuum but you fail to put it in context. How can I view you as a financial partner when you stole from me and my kids college fund? And this fictional IRS check that you were going to pay me back for last years theft? Vanished into thin air. Gail says you cashed it you say you never got it its been six months where is it?
Yes. If you look at just today I did over react. But if you put into the context of the last 18 months, not so much.
I have stress at work too which you only make worse with texts and emails of overblown drama while I am at work despite the fact that I have asked you NOT to do this while I am at work. And you "pad my world"??? I would hate to be a person you want to upset!
Sent from my iPhone
I have no idea what happened to you this morning.... I went to bed with the man I knew last night , and the only thought that was in my mind was I wonder when its going to blow up .I figured it would be today , that's why My reaction was not as bad this morning as it should have been ... I was expecting it. If it wasn't the water bill , it would have been something else... I have my issues ... yes.... and I am not trying to take away from that , so before you fire back with something about " my issues" just dont ... there is no need... This particular issue has nothing to do with me .
This is an ongoing problem with you ... for years I have known you have issues... blowing up over nothing... and taking it out on me .... I know that YOU know what you did this morning was out of line ( you MUST know that)
I have been very reluctant to discuss what I am about to write.... with good reason , but it has to be done ... I want you to know that I am not attacking you , in any way . There are things that need to be said and although I feel that you will deny and most likely get even more pissed at me ... I have a feeling that a part of you will understand and realize that there is more of an issue than you are willing to admit.
I know I have issues... I start by saying that because you seem to throw that up to me everytime I try to point something out that you do , like one cancels out the other.. and that's not true. I have my own issues and I am doing all I can to correct them . I believe I have done a good job so far. I am trying very hard.
I hate to just throw this out there without sugarcoating it some , but I guess there is no way to really do that. you have issues... I believe that you are somewhat aware of them... however I do not think that you are fully aware of how they affect you , your behavior, reactions, moods, and how it affects us in general. I have known for a long time that you are at times on edge, and many times over the years you have snapped , without good reason...
I feel like you are two different people sometimes... The man i saw this morning is NOT the same man that was here yesterday ... its baffling to me ..... that the more I examine it , the more clear it becomes that you act like ME. Its scary .... its just worse in some ways because when *I* blow up it is a reaction to something usually ... when *YOU* blow up it is out of nowhere and I never know when its coming.
In the past you have told me about the aspergers and things not going right and how that affects you etc etc .... I am trying to understand this , and I have tried to learn as much as I can about the disorder and how to deal with it. I dont think its full blown ... but there are traits there for sure. Honestly ... I would say that there is something else going on as well .... some sort of mood or personality disorder ... im just not sure. You cant have things like a water bill affect you this way ... im certain its exhausting for you to have to deal with things like this ... I see you running around out of control like you were this morning and I feel bad for you , and I want to help , but I dont know what to do .
One thing I have read about and know all to well is the "meltdown" part .... professionals call it "jekyll and hyde " and I couldn't describe it any better... coping with stress , confusion , and frustration is an enormous challenge and leads to " flipping out" ... I understand that .. and I try to deal with it as best I can . It is NOT something new .... it is something that has been going on for years....
I am constantly trying to "pad the world" for you ... when something goes wrong here , I try to fix it before you find out and have to deal with it ... its exhausting at times ... and we are both dealing with my issues as well .... its just exhausting.
I am doing all I can to control my issues... and I have done a good job so far... it is a work in progress ..
BUt I need you to take care of you... I am willing to help in an way I can , I am here for you and will continue to be . But There are issues there that need attention.
I need you to see someone . I need you to do it quick .
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