Update

I have been back on Lamictal and Trazadone for two weeks now. I am getting sleep because of the Trazadone, but still feeling exhausted for most of the morning. I am getting huge headaches that last most of the day and also having an upset stomach. Woo-Hoo fun times over here! haha

I know it takes time for the meds to kick in, but it seems like the day after I started them my moods went out of control. I have been cycling pretty fast lately...like a different mood every couple of hrs. The other day my husband and I got into a fight with someone we thought was a friend. After that was over, I went and punched a wall and threw patio furniture...just kinda lost it for about an hr. I was shaking I was SOOOO mad! I've learned through out the years to control my temper, so that I don't get that way, but I just lost it...I couldn't control it at all. I don't think it helped that she called me a crazy, pathetic mom, who can't even take care of her own kids and has to be sent to a hospital to get the right kind of help....that hit hard....I know I'm a good mom and I take care of my kids just fine, but I still have doubts sometimes about whether me staying around is going to be better or worse for my kids. Everyone says I'm a great mom and have the best, sweetest, happiest, children in the world, but I still have my doubts because I am having such trouble controlling things right now and because they are seeing that. I hate it when people use this stuff against me. I know it's not my fault for having these problems....but to have someone throw them in my face like that makes me hate this disease that much more. I just want to be normal, not just for myself, but for my family also. That hurt so bad...