In trouble

I am deeply deeply depressed. I crashed yesterday and I am just unable to do anything. All I want to do is sleep. I can't believe this. I might be in and out of chat today. This is just awful, sorry to be so selfish right now.

Mogli it's so hard to reach out when I'm depressed...and you did!
I totally understand how it feels... the thoughts I'm having
when I'm depressed aren't true... but it still feels like reality. I have to
remember it's not 'me'...it's the depression causing me to feel this way.
It's not selfish to reach out...it's healing!

Hang in there. You are not alone , we all know what you are going through . If you need to chat  we are here.

Hugs

~ Belle

I have a crazy suggestion that can't hurt! lol I remember this from my high school pyschology class.

Hold a pencil in your teeth. So that it pulls back your lips into an almost-smile. It is supposed to lift your mood - and it worked for me.

Weird. But hey - the worst thing that happens is you feel goofy. lol You can do it at work (if it works for you) and you'll look "focused." lol

I'm sorry you're not feeling well again. Take care of your physical body. This is so hard when I'm depressed. Brush your teeth for a minty zing, wash your face with cool water, and style your hair. Don't feel up to doing your hair? Go to a salon. To much anxiety? Have a friend come over and wash your hair in the sink (lay on your back on the kitchen counter, towel under your neck) Go for a 10-minute walk. Get a massage. (Trade massages with your boyfriend?) Cuddle. Ask for patience. Have sex anyway - try a no-effort position so your lack of enthusiasm isn't as noticeable. Ask for help - ask for a friend to help you with housework. Use paper plates for a few days.

Apologize. "I'm having a bad day. I'm trying to act normally and not fall into unhealthy patterns. Please be patient with me and help me if you notice I'm not well. Thank you for doing your best to be supportive. This must be hard on you."

I've never had the strength or willpower to exercise while depressed. That is something I truly admire about you Mogs! You soldier through it all like none other. You deserve a medal. And a break from this bipolar madness!

Did you try the pencil thing? lol

looks like i missed all the excitement but mogs want u to know u can still reach out to us even if its not "as bad" as it was before.

i will try to remember these tricks to cope wiht my problems these days.

Thanks all so much.

Unfortunately I am back where I was Friday night. I will get out today for a walk. I know that I have so much stress around me so I am really not experiencing anything out of the norm considering the fact that my Mom is so sick. I have barely been able to talk to her all week because she has been too sick from the chemo to even talk. She can't keep anything down; she can't stay awake. She is in pain. And through all of this they are doing radiation on her lung every single day for 6 weeks and she has her last round of chemo in one week. It is the worst thing and I try to float through each day not thinking about her. And that breaks my heart too. I feel guilty when I try to push it out of my mind.

I am glad that I am going back to work tomorrow after being off for a week. Being here in the house with no friends available all week took its toll. I know I struggle at work as well, but at least I am out of the house.

I will post later, heading out now to see if we can get a new bedroom set.

Your words are keeping me alive right now.

Mogs