Remission Update

Not that I advocate the discontinuance of meds, it just sorta happened here because I am treatment resistant, between docs and meds, enjoying a ? remission.....after spending most of 2010 in bed 24/7
Have a plan in place as to what med treatment to get ASAP in case this goes south suddenly.

Got dressed a few times last week and went out, on my own, drove, and everything.
Most trouble I got in was spending $13 at the dollar store.

Met a nice lady customer at the dollar store who was preparing for a Halloween party, my favorite. We got to shopping/laughing/bumping into each other repeatedly, then in the check-out line, I told her I was going to have to follow her home so I could know the location of her big bash, joking. She got out paper/pen and gave me her vitals. Now I am going to the first Halloween party ever!

My husband asked about a costume, and said he would like to go as a handyman, as that was what he wore all the time, ha ha. She says, a handyman ! I was going to call one today since I am having bathroom plumbing problems ! Now he's got work ! And she would like her bathroom remodeled, woo wee !

Its my birthday today, 61. Went on the internet and searched for my local restaurants, and got lots of discounts/freebies printed up. Recommend it. Costs half of what it would. Drink water.

Wanted idea for what to bring to the Halloween party, and found tons of stuff, including decorations, which I have elaborately cut/pasted and put into my "files". Made extensive lists of supplies for crafts, recipes, etc., and now that I am back to earth, got it out of my system, without spending money. Some of them SO CUTE, but have no need for since we are in a Senior location with no trick or treat or guests. Biggest decision" make Frankenstein Fingers, dead fingers, bloody fingers, ogre toes, bloody eyeballs, Bat wing meatballs .......

Tentative plans for next year, possibly, Halloween party consultant, decorator, caterer, face painter (yes, got gorgeous face painting freebies on the web), write a movie, "Halloween Party Crasher"......

What if I got a job at the dollar store? Just part time stocking before the holidays? Could keep an eye on NEW inventory, touch it, blah blah...but will it screw up my disability?

Do have some lingering problems: sleep schedule way off, need to attack it. Haven't made it to Curves, am beginning to consider sleeping dressed for it in the wee hrs when I am awake, so I will be ready to go when I wake up. Trouble in the store, as everything is SO cute or interesting, but CAN be controlled. Obsessed with lists and recipes. IRRITABLE Tear up

NOTE: at this stage of my game, realize that greater strides/progress is my responsibility, TO DO IT !

Have printed up all the info so thoughtfully offered by the forum in answer to my "poll" and question of "What will happen to me if they put me in the hosp?" Really helpful, and tho I hoPe it never comes to that, will have the info handy.....THANKS ALL !

be careful- you are off meds and it sounds like what the begining of my "upswings" are. Lately I have been ping-ponging from one end to the other with depressions followed by hypomanic followed by depression with only a day or three in between.
Being out of the depression feels so good. Get out, go do things. Be in the sun. But just like if you had a physical illness land you in bed for weeks, take it slow and ease out of the house. Jumping in head first is a trigger for me, and without medications I don't want to see it happen to you too.

Thanks everybody, appreciate the well wishes. Know you're all behind me.
Now catching some sunshine. Kind of like trying to adjust the flame to low on the stove without it going out unbeknownst. Just taking baby steps out of a long hibernation.
For the party, not sure, maybe I should make a poll, heh heh. Going for heavy make-up, Black Widow, Glampire, white-hair corpse lady, hmmmm current hang up is making the dk blond hair either black or white, without cost of wig. Like hair gel with something added to it in addition to spiders. Will watch the alcohol, she says she hides the beer in the washer to keep the kids out of it at the party, ha ha So, fingers anyone? eyeballs?

Happy birthday Sandy. I hope you are having a good day.

Just remember what you told me about seeing the doc. You sound a little too happy to me as well.

Take care.

Tim

"You don't know that I have been a lifeless zombie since the beginning of the year. In bed 24/7, no exaggeration. Except for time here in the middle of the night. No hygiene, no clean clothes. Dentist told me to expect my teeth to fall out soon, :("

I totally understand but I'm not strong enough to admit it. I haven't been to a dentist in 12+ years (I'm 26). I'm absolutely terrified because of 2 things: 1) dentist panic/phobia and 2) having to face up to the damage that depressions have had on my teeth.

Enjoy your break from depression. IME, don't do to much, too fast. You'll flip yourself back into depression. Don't let yourself get too "high" because that will flip you also.

Good luck! I'm happy for you! (still worried, lol)

Yep,, Sun, thanks for that, I can talk the talk, not so good at walk the walk.

Today, for example, I showered, brushed teeth, got dressed ! and not only didn't hubby acknowledge, ha ha, he was hell-bent on aggravating the bejeebers out of me. It seems the stronger I get and the more I do, the more lackadaisacal he is. I think he liked it better when he just came in at 5:30 to tell me dinner was ready if I wanted to eat. He took care of all household duties. That's a pretty sad commentary.

Regarding teeth, I do go to the dentist, and every dentist I have ever seen wants me to get something expensive like $1-2000 done to an isolated area. The teeth are OK, now its the gums that are shrinking back so the teeth will have a hard time hanging on much longer. And then, they want to give me those new kinda crowns on the front teeth at $1000 each ? and they look fine as is, really. Like whatever happened to getting dentures when that day comes... they're such salesmen.

Not so happy today, actually cried, its been years, ever since going on Cymbalta. I was crying about the Chilean miners, 5 of them are getting married. Something important, right?

And then the not so good news, was planning on going to Chicago in Dec. to see my son graduate from police academy even tho I am SO fat they will hardly recognize me and I don't know what I'll do for a winter coat....and then find out my ex will be there too, oh noooooooooo If this doesn't get me to Curves nothing will. Oh, God, I hate my fat, old, self. Crapppppppppp

OK, when the going gets rough, the tough get going. Or something like that. Where's the Desiderata?

Just kidding, have learned to accept myself as is.....just hate seeing all the people I haven't seen in 10 yrs knowing it's going to be a shock. And particularly the ex, who along with new wife is now VERY skinny. Formerly was quite a tub of lard. Have lost 25# this year, but it doesn't even show :(

Attention, ladies, and gents, watch it with your weight. Knowing all meds contribute to weight gain just about, isn't an excuse to go hog wild and give up, take it from me. And the older you get the less calories you need anyway, and the more you would need to exercise just to keep even. If I gained 5#/yr for 10 years, which I have, yep, thats the problem

GET OUT, YOU ARE NOT 30-40 # OVERWEIGHT, I SAW YOUR PICTURES, A COUPLE OF THEM...
BUT NO MATTER HOW LITTLE IT IS YOU WANT TO LOSE, ITS A GOOD IDEA BECAUSE IT REALLY CREEPS UP ON YOU. AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE IN THE I DON'T CARE MODE, IT CAN REALLY GET AWAY FROM YOU FAST.
MY FRIEND HAD RA AND PSORIATIC ARTHRITIS OF THE SPINE, VERY BAD, SEVERAL SERIOUS SURGERIES, AND WAS ALWAYS HEAVY, LARGE FRAME. THE DOC LAYED THE LAW DOWN TO HER AND SHE LOST 80# IN A YEAR SHE SAYS. STARVATION METHOD WITH LOTS OF COFFEE, ANYTHING GOES FOR SUPPER, AND ONE DAY OF THE WEEKEND, WHATEVER, HOWEVER MUCH---I TRIED THAT BUT IT DIDN'T WORK, AND I FELT I WAS STARVING ALL DAY. JUST TO BE A PIG AT SUPPER. AND THEY EAT OUT ALOT SINCE SHE IS SORT OF AILING. STILL, JUST SHOWS IT CAN BE DONE.
JUST GOT THE BOOKS "EAT THIS, NOT THAT" AND "COOK THIS AND NOT THAT" FROM RODALE, AND THERE ARE A FEW GOOD RECIPES, BUT MOSTLY THE SHOCKING TRUTH IS THE EXORBITANT AMT OF FAT AND SALT FOR THINGS THAT SEEM INNOCENT WHEN YOU ARE ORDERING. WE DON'T EAT OUT MUCH DUE TO COST, AND THE BOOK ALSO COMPARES THE COST/SVG. INTERESTING.
THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT, FIRSTLY, I WILL NOT GAIN, AND SECOND, LOSING ANY AMT IS AN IMPROVEMENT. YAH !
WAS TRYING TO LEAVE A MSG about MAXIMUS, BUT COULDN'T FOR SOME REASON. LOOKED AT HIS OTHER PICTURE TOO, HE HAS SUCH A SWEET SMILE ! YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DOG CRAZY, HA HA. ANIMALS ARE GREAT.

Regarding the dentist, also, for those who have not gone for whatever reason, in years.

The dentists have really gone far in reducing discomfort now. You will be shocked that they don't even have that little sink with the swirling water for you to spit into, or the magic fill water cup, ha ha. Even getting Novocaine isn't like it used to be with smaller pre-filled syringes.

I recommend that you get a Vitality electric toothbrush at Walmart, not that expensive and you will LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Nowadays they want you to be gentle and use the softest brush. Get replacement brush heads at Target, they are a little pricey, but then I saw the price of a reg toothhbrush, almost $5 !

The dentist does resort to scare tactics, which I test by going to different dentists since i used to have insurance, and then that messed it all up even worse. One is all upset about one issue, the next one doesn't even notice THAT issue, has one of his own to issue caution warnings on, ha ha.

Just my 2 cents Hope everyone is well.