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Posted 10/26/2010 6:13 PM (GMT 0)

hello people...

well I'm new on this site.. discovered it yesterday and thought I should live a post, presenting myself.
My name is Caroline, 21 years old, I'm french but from a british mother.. I now live in London, it has been a year and it makes me happier so there is no project whatsoever to go back in my terrible original country ^^

I too have bipolar disorder. Diagnosed myself but it was then confirmed by a professional that I went to see for the occasion.
I had my hard time but I'm quite good now. compared to all of you (it chocks me somehow) I am not "treated". No therapy because they make me worse and no meds because they are a crutch so doesn't teach you how to walk by your self and after seeing my mum being always under meds I am easily against them.

Though I do self medicate sometimes, with cannabis but rarely since moved in England. I believe in self teaching and also I don't see bipolar as an illness.. but more like a personality characteristic ( like physically you can be blond or black or else.. ) that I try to use as a plus in my life.. it's probably because Art is my whole life so I have something that allows me to use my bipolarity.

I believe we live more passionately that those with normal neurotransmitters, we experience the same emotions as them, just really really intensively ^^ of course.

I love my manic phases because mine aren't too bad. The risk taking urge is now used in my art so becomes useful and somehow necessary and I just know how to keep my principles in mind.
My depressed mood aren't always enjoyable, but I use them for the thinking and analysing so in the end it can be a necessary phase too.

I have my own self techniques to kill the dark thoughts and to avoid the "I might be a reincarnation of ghandi or dali" ^^ so in the end I'm fine. For me it is not an illness, just a condition and i prefer to call it "the artist temperament" to help me.

Of course it is hard, I am alone for many reasons, don't have any friends , well mates sometimes, but people just don't last with me, and I have some personal anxiety about my future and especially being able someday to cope with society in the world of "I work to put food on the table" and deadlines... but over all I'm pretty confident because I have been through so much and survived it so what is to come .. well have to come and be accepted ^^

I have never seen a psy for my bipolarity (only younger for depression and it made me worse and in the end was useless for me) but I have a lot of self techniques that works for me and if any of you needs any tips or things to try, I'll be happy to share my little things with you.
I have a lot because changing them is important otherwise when you get really down and you know nothing will ever change, you feel worse so it kills the "routine" ^^

I would also be happy to have advice about the contraceptive pill and your experiences . Because I stopped it now and actually I am better off it, cycles less rapidly and one phase can stabilise .. though the dysmenorrhea is way too bad so i really can't work (even my studies). And here the doctors don't have time to take care of such things because you can't explain everything in 10 minutes so ... anyway ..

Well I hope you get to figure out a bit who I am and I hope to hear from you and get to know you so we can help and support one an other ;)

Take care of yourself people because in the end we only got one life, so better to enjoy it ;)

xxx
Posted 10/26/2010 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the board,,

hugs, Caren

Posted 10/26/2010 8:26 PM (GMT 0)
I can't take traditional birth control either. It sets me off. I have found some research online that says the estrogen or progesterone used in the may birth control methods can have side effects on Bipolar. I have tried several pills and Depo Provera (which was the absolute worst). I'm 8 months pregnant with my second child and will be having tubal ligation done when I'm admitted into the hospital for delivery. The hormones from this pregnancy have caused severe depressive and behavioral problems for me. My periods have never been too bad or painful though so I'm not sure what you could take since it sounds like you're a lot like me with the pill. Good luck. I hope you can find a gynecologist that can make some recommendations.
Posted 10/26/2010 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
thank's for the share ;)

well I started the pill around 16 and somehow my depression was also at the same time.. from my ex boyfriend of the time it started before.. but in my memories the really low mood was around the same time because that is when the "chronic pain" started, like headaches and all.. frequently . Eventually I was fine.. but it seems that with the pill I get low one week or more before my period, gradually and the pain may be less with the pill but the mood is for sure down.. and being depressed 1 week per month for sure isn't the best. Whereas without well, it's random ^^ depends on initial mood and it's the physical pain that brings me down actually ..

tubal ligation? is that when they cut the bits ?? I'm not sure .. Sounds harsh. But guess it should help you as hormones plays on mood, you mind get more regular in your moods after that ;) hope so for you ^^

Well it is good to know that pills does affect BP people, I feel less crazy now - as no one really seem to believe it may have an effect - ^^ thank's for the tips ;)

take care
Posted 10/27/2010 2:09 AM (GMT 0)
Ha no I will still have the hormones and all the girl parts. They just snip the tubes so I can't get pregnant. Then there's no need for birth control. Not so bad, this will be my second child and I'm 32.

I remember my depression starting about a week before the period when I was on the pill. I started as a teenager too. All my attempts with birth control made me very agitated, moody and depressed. And it's only been recently that I've been able to find info online about the BP and birth control together. I thought I was just nuts too ;) Also didn't think the pregnancy would have such an impact on me either. My first was so easy. But this second one has been hell.

Find a good doctor and maybe they can help.
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