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Posted 11/1/2010 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
I have begun to worry. Do you think the number of meds you're on is an indicator of how ill you are. I a, probably being paranoid but I am now on 4 a day. I also get a huge feeling that the pdoc is holding back and trying not to tell me too much. Last time he ask the nurse a few times if she got that after something I said. She was taking notes the whole time.

Now after getting put on Clonazepam they told me to call today and let them know how I am doing so they can work on the plan for my next visit on the 8th. Makes me feel like they are considering a big change or something. Not sure what to tell them.

Am I just being paranoid?

Tim
Posted 11/1/2010 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Could be getting a little paranoid there. I think you can trust them.

No, 4 meds is not alot. Not at all. I used to question the pharmacist, and she always just shook her said no, not at all. You have probably noticed on the forum that some people have a long list, and I attribute it to the doc saying, OK, a little Trazadone will be a good antidepressant AND help with sleep, Lexapro should help with the depression and anxiety both, has to have something for anxiety attacks, Klonopin is good because it is kind of a pain reliever and also muscle relaxant. Abilify, the latest adjunct to antidepressant therapy when it seems not to be working, gives it a boost.

Don't know what you're saying that he says, did you get this. Something he feels is significant and wants to be sure to remember and be able to read when he reviews your chart. What a team, have never ever had a nurse in the visit taking notes for the doc. Often times they are so busy making notes I wonder if they are able to listen.

I'm glad they told you to call in and tell them how you are feeling. You kind of hesitate to do that on your own. Maybe at this point they are thinking, boy this anxiety is persistent. If it hasn't resolved using Klonopin, maybe we'll try xxx next. And thats not a lot of Klonopin btw.

I'm impressed with how much they seem to care, and take this so seriously. I don't think you're on the way to the hospital because you are not manic out of control or suicidal, you're not right?

So, how ARE you feeling?
Posted 11/1/2010 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
No, I am not on the way to the hospital or anything. High energy and low depression at the same time does a number on me. I do feel better since I started Klonopin. I am not angry and very irritated anymore. I can get snippy but now I catch myself before I go off over every little thing and between the Klonopin and trazadone I have been able to get to sleep somewhat regularly. I'm pretty sure I am heading in the right direction.

The other part is most likely me being a little paranoid. I know 4 pills isn't as much as it could be but it is still a lot for me. I just got this feeling in the back of my head that something is really wrong and they just don't want to tell me because it could make the depression worse or something. Most of the problem is that my thoughts slowed down just enough that I can grab an idea and obsess about it for awhile. It figures that it would be a negative thought.

Anyway, I am doing alright. My depression has gotten worse the last few days but I am dealing with it.

Also, I do hate calling the doc as you know but I already called today and gave them an update so they can be ready for me on the 8th.

How have you been feeling?
Posted 11/1/2010 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
Define "severity"!

Resistant to treatment?
Ultraradian cycling?
Psychotic breaks?

No, I don't think the # of meds has anything to do with "severity." Your med "cocktail" will change over time. 3 is about average, BTW.
Posted 11/1/2010 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
Tim-
Doin OK. Sleep at night, awake during the day. Appetite under control. Shopping held at bay. Went out of the house yesterday with my hubby, Handyman calls, and actually enjoyed talking to someone, twice ! Getting a haircut tomorrow. Resolved the Chicago trip issue, AM going, glad I spoke up for myself, and it did actually work. DA dah ! Had a very touching conversation with my son as the result and resolved the ex struggle.

You're still afraid something's drastically wrong, aren't you? I don't think they would be saving evidence so to speak, of some horrible diagnosis. I'm very impressed with them, was afraid you were so far out in the Boonies you'd be seeing some eccentric. Sounds like a great place you go.

Tortoise is right, they call it a cocktail, sometimes plop an olive or a little onion in, ha ha Since she brought up rapid cycling, ultraradian, etc.,. thinking that when your anxiety is under control, it may be easier to distinguish if you are cycling. If the irritability is of manic proportions. Are you going down and working out every day?

I think this is working out well.

Sandy
Posted 11/1/2010 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
Dude, between my 2 Dx I take 14 different scripts regularly. That's between 16 and 26 pills a day. 4 of those scripts are for the BP Dx. I don't know what that says about me- but I hope that might make you feel better about the 4 you take.

Christina
Posted 11/2/2010 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
My pdoc said that people with bp average 3-4 meds.  It is a cocktail of different ones to handle different symptoms and to augment each other.  Saying that, I hate taking all the meds that I do (I imagine most of us who take a lot of meds feel that way).  I regularly wonder - but only wonder - if there is a way to get off of some of them.  However, that is one of the problems people with bp have - they take themselves off of their meds, and then fall apart.  Then getting  back to the right balance takes a while and may look somewhat different.  It doesn't mean you have a horrible diagnosis - it is part of the territory.  Not what we imagined for ourselves, is it?
Posted 11/2/2010 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone. I tend to be obsessive and very very negative assuming the worst in everything. You all brought me back to reality and I will sleep better tonight because of it. I really like it here. I hope that
I can start contributing more. I have been trying in small doses but the more I learn the more I will contribute.

I haven't been working out much since my last energy boost ended a few days ago. I have just been feeling down. No urge to do much of anything. Seems like I am switching every
3-4-days regularly and sometimes even a couple times a day. The high energy, can't sit still, angry at the world episodes are the ones I just dread.

The day I called the doctor my wife almost called her Mom to watch the kids while she went to work. That is how bad I was.

@Sandy
Glad you are getting out some and enjoying things. The trip to Chicago should be good. I have been there a million times but only for work so I can't tell you anything good to check out. All I ever saw was traffic
and loading docks. I'm sure you'll find something.

Tim
Posted 11/2/2010 1:27 AM (GMT 0)
Glad you are getting something from the forum. The thing that helps is that you post and have specific questions or problems. Have noticed you reaching out to others, and very appropriately on specific topics you know about.
Yes, Chicago should be fine. I lived there for 8 yrs, so know my way around. Dec, brrr, you're used to it. Have to find a used coat somewhere. Only there from Thurs night to Mon am. Primarily to spend time with my son and dil. Her mom is having a grad party for him on Sat., and so I will be able to order the cake, makes me feel involved. Biggest relief knowing that my plans are not going to be kicked to the wayside by others. Its nailed down now. Phew... Sun we may drive out to the boonies and visit an elderly couple that were our neighbors, go out to lunch, see how much our trees grew. Or sightsee downtown. Feeling positive about it now.
That must have been a pretty bad day if your wife was going to get her mom involved. Thats a good thing, her having a back-up plan so she doesn't miss work.
We all tend to get obsessive and negative, goes with the territory. Never heard anyone here yet say, I'm so happy, on top of the world, can't stop singing to myself.
Hope you get good sleep tonight, and don't have anything more on your mind, do you? Because you can post somemore if you do.
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