I understand that it's difficult being with someone who is suffering from Bi-Polar disorder, especially if they are not taking their medications, seeing their psychiatrist and doing the proper maintenance that is required for the disorder.
I have been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder and borderline personality disorder for five years, since I was 18. I work for Addictons and Mental Health so I understand these comments concerning this disorder from both perspectives but I have recently been in a situation that I haven't encountered, personly, and would like some imput.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. We work together and deal with similar situations. He is not Bipolar but he does deal with Depression, anxiety and OCD. He is also seven years older than me (I know, there's alot of factors going against this relationship to begin with) and has recently said to me that he needs space because he cannot deal with my Bi-polar. We are still together, and he tell me he loves me all the time, but he would just like us to see each other less outside of work. I appreciate him being honest with me, as we have been very close and honest throughout our relationship seeing how we both have mental health issues, but it leaves me wondering... If he can't deal with my Bi-polar disorder now, should I even remain in the relationship? He said that if I didn't have this disorder that "I would be perfect for him and would have no complaints". But now he wonders that if the costs out weigh the benefits of our relationship, the costs referring to my conditions.
This conversation stemmed from a rare arguement we had this weekend, where he got so messed up at a party that I had to say something, which eventually just turned into an episode.
What makes the situation even more difficult is that he does have several substance abuse and self medicating problems (I know, ironic as we both work in the Addiction Services and Mental health field) and suffers from periodic bouts of severe anxiety and depression. He also does not take his medication and has not seen help for the past year.
Normally, I would completely understand him wanting space: we work together, have similar friends and my condition can be frustrating when I have low moments. But we have never had a fight or argument before this (I understand that arguments and fights are healthy, but it's almost eerie how we get along). I haven't had a manic incident in over a year, besides this weekend, as I seek help and taking my medication regularly as well as balance it with exercise and diet. No one actually knows of my conditions except for family, my boss and my boyfriend, as my manic episodes have been few and far between and I would rather not dicuss this with family members.
I'm suspecting he may be putting his issues and anxieties that he has onto myself but I don't want to come to that conclusion until I am certain (that is why I would like some feedback). I have had boyfriends leave me before due to my conditions but at those times, it was understandable. I was young, not taking my medication regularly (trust me, it makes a difference) and was having manic and low moments regularly. I have made alot of progress from 3-4 years ago and grown personally able to be on my own comfortably.
If I could get some feedback, that would be greatly appreciated. I guess what I am asking for feedback on is should I give him space or just let him go? If he can't deal with my Bi-Polar disorder now, what would be the point of continuing a serious relationship as he will continue to become discouraged with my conditions and just leave and be hurt. Typically I would speak with friends about relationship situations but they do not know of my conditions and after reading previous posts made, I think this would be a great forum to express my concerns. Let me know!