Reaching out.

I am new to this site, have never been a member of an online forum.
I was talking to a friend today and he told me that he had done a little research, and thought that my doctors diagnosis of Bipolar 2 was wrong and I am really Bipolar 1. That ended the conversation, and I spent the rest of the day pretty pissed off.
I was diagnosed about 1 1/2 years ago and got on meds right away (Lamotrigine, Lexapro and Trazadone to help me sleep) I spent a year being completely amazed at what "normal" felt like. In the past few months I have had to accept that the medication didn't cure me. Right now Im having a lot of stress at work, and am dealing with quite a bit of grief. I can feel myself falling into depression (Ive been hypomanic for about a week). Im feeling really alone in this.
I have great friends that want to support me, that try to learn about my illness, but they don't get it. They know Im in a depression, and are upset that I don't call. Duh. I know this comes from a place of love, but it is starting to really affect me. I can't ask for help in the way they want to help me, and I am feeling judged for that. Someone else recommended going to a support group, but I feel paralyzed. I just cant make the effort.
So Im here. Hoping to find people who get it.
Thanks.

Thanks for your reply, Jamie. Im glad I found this site. Have you had to deal with people trying to diagnose you? Its not the 1 vs. 2 that is so upsetting to me. I just feel that this friend did some reading and now thinks that he's qualified to tell me what I am, and how I should live with this illness. I think its also bringing up a lot of fear for me... Its taken a lot of work to get to some form of acceptance, and to be able to be honest with people about it. Im trying to surround myself with people that are truly supportive of me, maybe he just isn't.
Anyway, today I am low. Trying to do what's in front of me. Took a shower. Cried. Walked the dog. Cried. Ate a salad. I guess that is the best I can do today.
Hope you're having a good one.
~Shellbelle:)

I agree it's offensive for a non-bipolar friend to challenge diagnosis.

HOWEVER,

Your friends know you better than you know yourself and can see behavior patterns obviously. Diagnoses change over time. Mine grew from type 2 to type 1. If your friend is recognizing some patterns, mention it to your pdoc. S/he'll know if your mood pattern is following more closely to 1 or 2.

Not that it matters to your pdoc, the treatment plan is the same either way : try to find medications that work.

Going from normal (on meds) going back to symptoms is VERY scary! I'm going through that too. I'm overreacting to what is happening with a fear of the worst.

Hello SB!  I am also new here, and currently running through the 2nd "episode" of my life, first episode happened in 2007, and I thought I was having nervous breakdown and ended up in the ER -- who waited FOREVER to see me as I was written down as having "anxiety" on the board for help!  Yikes!  At that point I was not diagnosed as having Bipolar II, but only had experienced depression before the first episode and had been on Paxil. I was told to take time off work and get well and take the Klonopin that had been previously given to me by my doc and not be scared of it; that it would help.  I am terrifed of medication!! I think there is an actual phobia for that fear!  Anyway, I am currently experiencing my 2nd ever episode brought on by major life stress and have been here since about Dec 2010. Doc increased Paxil which I thought may be helping but then by week 7 I fell into black hole the worse I had ever been. Doc said my Paxil stopped working, so he would put me on Cymbalta -- I totally freaked out crying and fighting tooth and nail -- he only wants to help me but I just had no hope at that point.  I am a person of faith so I just have been praying and praying asking God to allow me to feel the healing that he is working in my life and after 2 weeks on Cymbalta I have begun to feel better -- I have pulled out of the hole and slowly trying to stand up.  I still have major irritability and sensitivity to stimulis -- hard to deal with since I have a fast speaking husband and 3 kiddos! But, I am working on thinking positive and made myself get back to work and trying to throw myself into work and not think about how I feel -- I seem to obsess about how I "feel" because I only want to "feel" normal -- what normal is I dont believe I know -- anyway, I have been looking alot at this site and it seems really helpful and encouraging -- we all need to be encouraged and lifted up because those around us really dont have any idea what is going on inside our unstable brains!!!!!!

Stephanie