Help with Non-supportive Spouse

Hi Everyone,

My name is Isa and I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II.  I am married 4 years, but my husband is growing frustrated with my problem.  When I told him, he cried.  I was angry because I am scared, but I had to comfort him.  I have no one for support in a strong way because my family is overseas.  I do not want to tell them because they will want to be here, but cannot at this time.

My doctor wants to hospitalise me for a time to regulate medicines.  My husband does not understand.  He says hospital is for "loons."

My husband is also angry because I am not intimate with him lately.  I am nervous and scared about it and feel guilty for no reason.

My husband is American, but I am Indian.

How do you handle having spouse who is not understanding to what is going on with you?

Thank  you for reading, and much luck to all.

Isa

Hi Isa.

I am an American who has married an indian. She has bipolar II. You can read my story in the "new poster" thread.

It's ironic because I am having the opposite problem of you. I am trying to be supportive, but she just doesn't seem to care. Her family is here and knows nothing about her illness.

Concerning your husband (from my point of view), he is scared and seems to not know much about the illness. Perhaps encouraging him to look up BP and it's symptoms might make him start to understand. I was amazed at how most of the problems I was having with her were common symptoms of BP and how it gave me some strength to realize that she wasn't responsible for a lot of her issues. I also know (from my end) that having a family member to vent and talk about it with, can help.

Maybe once he sees that this isn't a unique situation, he will be less frightened and angry about it.

I know that when she decides to be alone and not sleep in the same bed with me, it hurts me a lot. Maybe you should let him know that HE isn't the problem or causing it (if that's the case, that is). One thing that helped my wife and I was having a sit down, long, heart to heart talk, where we didn't try to hold things back that might hurt. I found that what we both thought/felt was off base of what was actually happening. We argued a lot before, but that talk was surprisingly informative and calming for both of us and brought us closer together. Of course we have fought since, but I think that some of the things we discussed that bothered us, stuck.