Recently diagnosed with bipolar type II--facing medication...and rather terrified

So--in the last couple of weeks, after a lengthy psychological evaluation, I was diagnosed with bipolar type II and generalized anxiety. Based on research, it does sound like an accurate description. Originally, it was thought my lack of focus was potentially, ADHD, but alas not the case (though I kind of wish it was). The cycling of my moods in the last 6 months has become a serious impedance to my day-to-day life. My mood swings and irritability effect all around me. My hypomania...well, at times is fantastic, and at times, is raw, unfocused energy--sometimes negative, sometimes positive--but always results in wasted time.

I recognize the benefits of mood stabalizers and I was directed to Abilify or Geodone. But just reading the side effects makes me want to get a guru, an acupuncturist, and a masseuse instead. But seeing as I'm not independently wealthy. In all serious, I would love to try alternative therapies first...I just think my wife (who suffers from depression and anxiety--her conditions are not helped by mental state, of course) has had enough of my instability.

I'm an artist--specifically a musician and a writer. Inspiration comes to me in flashes and my pursuit of my crafts can be manic in nature. That's often when it's best--when I'm overcome by the inexplicable impulse to create. If that is part of my disorder, is that something that I'll lose?

Physically, I'm in the best shape of my life. The weight gain notion of mood stabilzers is another deterrent and I've been reading that these medications can make you overheat. I'm a runner--I love to run in heat of Summer. Nothing feels better.

There is just so much to consider...it's enough to make me feel crazy on it's own!

-Phil

Hi Phil,

Diagnosis and treatment can feel much scarier than the symptoms themselves. We are used to the symptoms. You seem much more comfy with the diagnosis than I was. It seems to be the treatment side of it that is freaking you out. As you know yourself, there is nothing forcing you to comply with any treatment whether medication or therapy. I think it is lovely that you can appreciate how you illness is impacting on your wife and your love, respect and concern for her and that seems to give you the courage to consider treatment within your budget.

My advice would be to remember that introducing new medication is merely a trial to see how the drug works for you. It is just so individual. If that particular drug doesn't suit you for any reason, you are in your rights to trial another and another until you get to the drug that gives you (and your loved ones) the best quality of life.

There is no way of predicting side effects, but if the side effects start to outweigh the benefits, instruct the doctor you want to trial another medication to see if you can find one that works better for you. Even if you end up going back to the original medication, it is with the confidence that it is the best out of a bad bunch.

Everyone's experiences are different and as such we will all have different suggestions. Personally, I'd encourage you to find the right medication, find the right dose and engage in dialectic behaviour therapy (dbt). ie. Max all supports available to you to lead the healthiest most fulfulled life you can.

Just one word about DBT and the fine line between psychological and psychiatric illness. I think DBT is remarkably effective for personality disorders especially Borderline Personality Disorder that it was designed for. DBT can also be fantastic in helping us manage the SYMPTOMS of biologically based psychiatric illness. In my experience, there is a point where biological psychiatric illness override even the most effective, well-applied psychological skills. More simply, DBT helps me, as a person suffering from Bipolar Disorder, manage my symptoms but it doesn't treat the illness.

I hope this helps.

Post Edited (living well) : 5/18/2011 4:18:09 PM (GMT-6)

Hello!!! I actually am so afraid of medications that I looked up online to see if there was such a thing as a "phobia" to meds, and guess what there is! Its called pharmacophobia -- or something to that effect.....anyways, like you I dont want to try ANYTHING w because my mind always screams out -- what will this drug to do me!!!! After long hours of freaking out and researching side effects, and telling myself that I was NOT taking a new drug, I had to come to the realization (after talking to my psychiatrist about my fears) that 95% of those taking a med do NOT get online and post so most all of what we see regarding the side effects are from those who did not have a good result -- and guess what we cannot even fathom the number of people taking a medication, thousands taking the same med, and only a small number get online for us to read!!!!!!!!

So, if you can, take a deep breathe, trust your doc, and TRY the medication -- guess what it may just change your life for the better and you will be sooooo happy that you gave the med a chance!!!

I will pray that this will be an easy transition for you, its not easy, trust me been there done that, but I gave in and tried the meds and I am now better than ever!!

God Bless and keep posting! Stephanie