Slap me

hmm... none since yesterday night. I missed yesterday morning too.

living well said...
I'm not about to slap you for anything little miss turtle :) Only time will tell whether it is a good move or bad move - and I know you will adjust according to any outcomes.

Not that I want to question, but is that really good?

tortoise11 said...
I stopped taking my meds last night. (None since yesterday morning). I don't know why. I have a Dr. appt. on Thursday. I haven't done my bloodwork for my Dr. appt. and I can't now because I've missed doses. I don't care. That is unlike me. I don't feel hypomanic. I am awake very early - 3 hours early. (But I was camping and waking up early for the last 2 days AND I took long naps yesterday, so ???) I don't give a darn about the meds right now. I expect to have terrible reaction to being off meds - cold turkey seroquel is bad bad bad bad things. And I expect to go back on. But this morning I can't be bothered to take them.

This is the thing I don't understand, and I guess I never will without having experienced it. You KNOW the consequences of not taking your meds, yet the simple act of swallowing some pills is difficult. I have high blood pressure. The consequences of my skipping meds every so often is not near as serious, yet I religiously take them. At worst, I may miss a dose once a month.

I am asking this, not so much to chastise, but to understand my wife's situation with her treatment. What is so hard about taking 5 seconds to pop some pills when you know the consequences of not taking them?

Glad you have a Dr. appt soon.  When I was on meds I always just said enough and stopped but then again, I was never on anything long enough to cause me distress, I always felt better without them.  Please be careful, but very glad you are feeling OK!

Gem

I think you're playing with fire. I'm going into withdrawal just thinking about it. Please be cautious!

tortoise11 said...
I felt really sick, hot, sweaty, yucky, today at work. It was hectic, emergency, isolation dog, etc. I finally went to the bathroom and turned off the light. It was mostly an anxiety attack. I was still crazy-hot. Cold shower, change clothes at home. I've been drinking lots and lots of water. I don't deal with temperature changes well and tomorrow is due to be 90!

I feel OK now. Wondering if my judgement is correct that I am OK? I don't know WTH is going on with me! I am thinking about cancelling my Dr. appt. I don't know. 1 more day off lamictal and I'll have to start all over from 25 mg again. :facepalm:

Why don't you take it then? At least then you won't be beating yourself up about it.

ebonyknight said...

living well said...
I'm not about to slap you for anything little miss turtle :) Only time will tell whether it is a good move or bad move - and I know you will adjust according to any outcomes.

Not that I want to question, but is that really good?

Just to clarify, as much as I care about Tortoise, I am not responsible for her choices. I am her friend, not her med enforcer. Tortoise is responsible for herself. The consequences for her going off her meds (especially with the life threatening consequences outlined in her subsequent post!!!) will be born by herself and her loved ones. This is something for Tortoise and her medical team to manage. I have been fortunate enough not to have gone through the agony of having my life being turned upside down and losing almost everything I cherish through someone not taking their medication, but I can empathise that a horrendous experience it would be. Even if I wanted to try and take on responsibility for her med enforcement, which I don't, nothing I say in a few words, from the other side of the world via the internet will be enough intervention. I recognise the healthy boundaries of our friendship and the limits of my level of influence. This is something for her to manage herself with the assistance of her medical team. It's appropriate for her to share here and I will support her all the way through this experience but I'm not going to admonish her for whatever is going on for her right now. I have faith in her that she is an intrinsically responsible person. I'd rather support her through the process of discovering what has been the trigger for this lapse and be by her side on her way back to health. I think because we are not directly affected by the consequences of Tortoises actions in our own lives, we have the unique opportunity to be more collaborative rather getting dragged into the BP tumble dryer of attempted control being met with further rebellion cycle. Diversity is invaluable. Your position is just as valid as mine. Our vastly different experiences mean we are merely coming from different perspectives and neither one of them is wrong.

living well said...

Just to clarify, as much as I care about Tortoise, I am not responsible for her choices. I am her friend, not her med enforcer. Tortoise is responsible for herself. The consequences for her going off her meds (especially with the life threatening consequences outlined in her subsequent post!!!) will be born by herself and her loved ones. This is something for Tortoise and her medical team to manage.

I guess my abnormally short message, didn't convey what I meant. I meant how could her not taking her meds be possibly good in anyway, not that you should be judgmental and scold her.

I will try to return to blathering on at length to get my thoughts across.

ebonyknight said...


I guess my abnormally short message, didn't convey what I meant. I meant how could her not taking her meds be possibly good in anyway, not that you should be judgmental and scold her.

I will try to return to blathering on at length to get my thoughts across.

Thanks EK. I u/stand now.

Tortoise, I know it is a serious situation but I can't help but be slightly amused that you fiance's sexual prowess provided the leverage to get you back on the straight and narrow. I have a funnny vision of research projects "The Efficacy of Sexual Favours in Promoting Compliance with Treatment Amongst Bipolar Patients"

Post Edited (living well) : 6/7/2011 5:02:26 PM (GMT-6)

Missed last night's meds. I couldn't sleep, watched TV for a while, tried to go to bed. Made myself lie there telling myself I have to fight this stuff. I did fall asleep.

Dr. appt. this morning. My adjustment is + seroquel and - celexa. My Dr. was interested in my reaction to stress - good or bed. He advised me to get my sleep schedule fixed. He didn't "yell" at me for missing those meds. He basically said it's hard to be a young person and have a chronic illness.

I've had an OK morning. Lot of anxiety this morning with the appt., but then some shopping afterwards. Nothing noton my list but things I had been waiting on for weeks. Felt good. Then to work. A full day, but all low-stress dogs. I got to take a lunch break (now. yay!).

I feel like I'm coming back down from my normal good. I'm going back to work and I hope the busyness will help. My dog is at work today so I can always stop, read a book, take her for a walk or something. :)