I dont know what to do.

well she is obviously unstable, there is a lot more depression than hypo/mania in bipolar, and hypo/mania can have a very irritable edge to it, so often there is not much rest or happiness outside the normal mood. mood stabilisers attempt to keep us in that zone more than no meds alone. sometimes it can be the 5th or 6th med trial that finds the medication that works the best. you are right at the beginning of managing this thing. the beginning of managing the illness should follow quickly by a reduction in verbal abuse. it is up to your wife to control her behaviour no matter how intensely she might be feeling certain emotions. this is early days post diagnosis even though it seems you wife has been quite harmful for some time. The paranoia has me a bit stumped/concerned... would other board members like to comment on that please? I imagine an antipsychotic could help with the paranoia. your wife needs a great gp, a fantastic pdoc and an effective therapist to get this handled. she will also need to be resilient; you both will. medication and therapy is the most effective way to manage bipolar. as tough as the journey might get - remember there are many people here that "get" your pain; some who have walked your journey and others who can demystify your wife's behaviour to you by explaining how it may feel for her. Step by step mate. You might like to get some other support and counselling yourself to help you cope with a phenomenonally difficult situation. Really put support services in place for you because it can be just as hard, if not harder for you. Let us know how you get on.
Jade

Hi there,

This illness is so hard on everyone. Just wanted to add something about your comment about her blaming everything on being "sick". There are two parts to that. When I am really struggling, it feels like everything I do or say or think is coming from my bipolar symptoms, so I can relate to her there. And it's awful because we feel sometimes we have no control and it's overwhelming. The other part is that even though we are very sick and actions, words and feelings come from our illness, we do need to take responsibility for that and do the best we can to not control but manage them (like living well so wonderfully explained, with meds, professional support and therapy). On those days where we are unable to manage so well, as stephanie said, we need to communicate with our partner how we are feeling so that our partners are informed and don't take what we are doing personally or out of context.

I know this is all so tough, I will keep you in my thoughts. All the right supports in place help wonders. It's necessary.

Hugs,
Mogs