How much is too much?

Hi all,

I used to hang around the depression forum a while back, and haven't been on in a while because I feeling a lot better.  I was diagnosed with BP almost a year and a half ago, and have been taking medication that seemed to have been working...

Until I got back to college.

Now it's just up and down all the time.  Just an hour ago I was on the floor bawling my eyes out for no reason, and now I just feel drained.  But these ups and downs are sincerely killing me! I feel like I'm losing my grip; everything seems so hopeless one second, and the next minute I'm going in hyperdrive.  Most of the time I just want to drop out of college, but after being here for over a year I don't just want to leave my parents in debt (since they had to take out a loan for me). It just feels like I'm two different people, almost.  One side is a happy, healthy person, while the other is just completely insane... 

So I guess my question is, is there anything I can do to stop feeling like I'm going nuts/help the ups and (especially) the downs?  Like... Techniques that you use or something?  I've just been stable for so long... I don't know what happened.

Thanks.

  hi there ,neverbetter

          you asked for help.....and what do others use.

           well, i am presently using the bipolar workbook by Monica Ramirez Basco, Phd.

           this book takes you thru cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). i'm only about half way thru the book..... but i'm finding it   

          most helpful.  since you are fairly new at bipolar illness you might check this book out.......there are many other books as

          well that might help you sort thru and help you understand your symtoms.

          i hate this illness and i certainly understand what you are experiencing with those ups and downs.

          i found that in this book it helps you understand what this illness does to you and gives some tools to gain some control 

          over it........before it gets out of control..

          i also keep a mood chart and a symptom chart and use a journal to help me work through my thoughts

          all of which came from this book.........you can find them online as well.

         good luck and give it a try.  you owe it to yourself....

         jcd,     the bipolarfish 

no caffiene dear. :)

Words have power. Your user name is neverbetter. Could it be you are sending that message out to the universe and you are getting back exactly what you call yourself? Perhaps think about changing your user name to a more positive word/thought form? Lol...red lightening doesn't suit me so well either but I was so anxious when I came up with it that I created that name to match my panicked state of being! Now I, and maybe you too, are hesitant to change it because people may get confused on the forums as to who we are or were!

Also...the change in seasons affects all people.