Do I show my emotions?

I have spent such a long time hidding my emotions from everyone else.  I know that it has not always been the best for me on the inside but it protects the people around me - I don't tend to have many friends for this reason.

Recently my SO has wanted me to be more open with my emotions, so I have given him a little snip it of what I have been feeling (thought I better not give him the full dose).  I felt good about it at the time but since then it has seemed to ampify my states of mind (not that I thought they could get amplified any further than what they do now).

But now that the flood gates are open he doesn't want to comfort me when I need it .  We don't live together so I feel even more alone.

When I have to deal with it on my own I know I have no choice in the matter - it may be tough but you just work through it (keeping everyone else away) , but having someone who said they will be there for you but then is not is harder to deal with when you have already hit rock bottom.

Do I continue to share my emotions or do I go back to keeping strong infront of the people around me and put on a brave face?   

Thanks Tortoise

That makes a lot of sense. Not everyone can understand what we go through, but I guess that doesn't mean they don't love us any less.

I think I need to continue on my own strenghts, there is not always going to be someone around to suport me so I need to be able to support myself or find a way to be able to handle it.

It has taken me a long time to realise that I need outside help (everytime I do I get one step closer but never seems to fix my problems), but I have made the decision to try everything I can this time until I get it right.

Thank you for you kind words.

I am me - the good and the bad and it comes as a package.