I'm severely allergic to poison ivy, oak, and sumac. Sounds as if you might have an inherited allergy gene, as I do.
Your wife is right, of course, about
everyone's being different in regard to diet and meds and what works for one might not work for another. She'll be a better guide to you about
"trial" use of medications. I've never been placed on trials when being prescribed medications, so I have no idea what that process would be.
How does your wife feel about
the possibility of your undergoing allergy tests? I was amazed at the number of things that turned up positive for me, both in inhaled allergens and food allergies. Had no idea that I was sensitive to so many things. Changing my diet helped very much, and I took shots for the most severe ones. It worked.
Hopefully, others will pick up your message and respond, too.
Take care.
I.G.