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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 12/5/2011 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, my name is Amy and im new here so cut me a little slack. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and cronic depression. Its really hard for me to cope, witb frie.ds family and the outside world in general. I have inappropriate bouts of anger for sometimes short then long peiods of time, my mood is constitantly shifting from happy to depdessed then switched to anxiety all with in a matter of moments. I constintly feel abandonned used upd washed out. I find little enjoyment in all activotes that I once adored. This has been going on since I was about fourteen(14). But as I got older the disorder I guess manafested itself and enrages me til I SNAP. I was convinced to apply for ssi in june,of 2010 hpwever I was denied vigorously. So for an update its been seventeen(17) months and I was finally scheduled for an Alj hearing (Today 10-05-11), but im not so sure it wdnt well. Im trying toaintain my head above water but I feel like im getting drowned by all my stresses of being homeless and no medical care for meds for my mood stabilizers. I feel suicidal lost alone and angry. Can anyone relate. Is life really worth this? I wouldnt.know. Anyways thanks
Posted 12/6/2011 1:09 AM (GMT 0)
Amy, I know that SSI can be difficult to get. Some people have better results using a lawyer. And you don't have to pay them until you win your case. So that might be an option. It sounds like you really have a lot of issues to deal with. Where I live there is a free medical clinic and they are really good about helping people find resources. Maybe there is something like that near you.
Yes, life is worth living. It may not feel like it this moment, but it will change. Keep fighting.
Posted 12/6/2011 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry that you are having problems getting SSI and feeling hopeless. I can relate with you. I would try to contact someone at NAMI. They may be able to find you some help in your area. Good luck and take care.

Post Edited By Moderator (tortoise11) : 12/16/2011 7:06:07 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/6/2011 2:09 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for all the support.. Much needed. But camanogirl, I have a lawyer its just at the hearong she made it seem as if it would be nothing to appeal again only ive been at this fpr over a year now.. It may be nothing to her but it is to me. In reference to free clinics ive been to two that just dont seem to fit my needs. For one thing its much over crowded, and for another the doctors dont seem to empatize with me, like im missunderstood. However I have locked myself up in the hospital and I feel they attend better but theyve already told me only an EMERGENCY... Two or three months on waitimg.on a decision that can either be good or back is a long time to someone.unstable as myself. I just wanna know who I am truly, under all the rage and sadness. I just wanna be me and I feel that this disorder gets the best of me.
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