A little about
our situation...
My wife and I have been married for 5 years. We have been together for 8. We have a 3 year old son. We are both in our late 20's. I love my wife dearly and have endured severe pain due to my wife's bipolar disorder.
The last year of our lives have been the most confusing, scary, trying times in either of our lives. My wife's behavior has forced me to look deeply at our relationship and wonder if it was even possible to salvage. Over the last few months we have dealt with drug use, lying, stealing, arrested for stealing, beginning new projects, losing her job, crashing her car, breaking my trust, yelling matches, trying to take care of other family members issues, lack of sleep, lying about going to the doctor, lying about money, spending sprees... The list could go on and on. Every time I think that nothing else could possibly happen... Murphy's Law kicks right in.
about 6 months ago, my wife was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
Before she was diagnosed, I requested that we both go see our General Practitioner to try and figure out why we were having so many problems and to discuss her strange behavior. He thought that my wife was severely depressed and should be started on Zoloft 50mg daily. He did say that we should look into finding a psychiatrist but he would work with us on the current Zoloft medication until we found one. We scheduled an appointment for 2 weeks later and unfortunately found out that our GP passed away before our next appointment. So we were stuck with a single Zoloft prescription and also tasked with trying to find a psychiatrist that my undiagnosed wife would actually go see. We found a psychiatrist about a month later and I was able to talk her into going to meet with the Doctor. The very first visit seemed to go well and the Doctor told us that she believed my wife was bipolar. She started her on a few different medications and it seemed to be helping until I find out that she had been lying about going to see the psychiatrist and blowing the money. I was forced to remove her from my bank account. I went to speak with her psychiatrist about everything that was going on and was treated like I did not have the right to be concerned with my wife's progress or current condition. I was told that I was not my business and that she would not discuss her patients information with me? Really??? I am dealing with a lying bipolar wife and I cant get any help from her doctor. Needless to say, I will not be sending this doctor any money in the near future. We have an appointment with a new doctor in a few days.
2 weeks ago our situation came to boiling point. I had to begin working a second job to try and help take care of the additional costs that we have incurred due to the bipolar disorder (Dr. visits, prescriptions, ect.). My wife asked if she could go back to our home town for a few days to spend some time with my mother. I knew that I would be working a ton of hours that week and thought maybe that would be a great idea. A few days went by and I was told by my wife that she ran into an old friend (girl) that she had not seen since high school. She asked my mother to watch our son and went to go hangout with her old high school friend for the evening. The next day she was sick in bed all day. She was supposed to be coming home that day but due to her sickness, she would not be able to drive home. I told her to get some rest and come home the next day if she could. Later that night when I got off of work, I called to check on her. She said that she had taken our son over to her Aunt's house so she could get some rest for a few hours. She said she would go back and pick him up later that night. She came home the next day and I see a tattoo on her wrist. I later find out that she left our son with her Aunt while she went out and got a tattoo with her old high school friend. I eventually find out that she used cocaine and meth that night as well... That comes a little bit later though.
That Monday we had our first appointment with a psychologist. This was so much better than the other doctors!!!
The next morning we are laying in bed and I feel her phone under my pillow. I look at it and see that she has texts messages from a man that are unacceptable. There was no concrete evidence of infidelity in the text messages, but it was not behavior that was acceptable in my eyes. She said that I had not been there for her and she was just talking to this man because he was there to listen. She said that she just ran into him over the weekend and used to work with him a few years ago. I really didn't know what to believe. We argued about everything and I finally broke down and told her to leave our home(first time ever). She immediately went into a whirl wind of emotions saying mean and hurtful things to me. The way she talked to me was absolutely unacceptable and I told her that I would not longer allow her to talk to me like that. She went absolutely crazy and begin to have panic attacks. She told me that I was the reason all of this was happening. I called my mother to come to our home to help with the situation. My wife saw this as us ganging up on her and she felt like she was being mistreated. My mother knows that my wife has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but she also thought my wife was using meth. It amazes me the similarities between the 2 different issues. I truly did not believe that my wife was using any drugs. My mother talked me into buying drug test for my wife. She failed it showing that she had used cocaine and meth! I asked her to tell me about it and she said that she used over the weekend with her old friend but was not using. She said it was only one time thing. My wife made comments about hurting/killing herself. My mom saw the way that my wife was acting and thought that she should be committed into a hospital. When my wife was confronted with this she said she was joking and would not hurt herself. The next morning she started over telling me how horrible I was to her. She told me she ****ing hated me. I told her that I wanted a divorce. I called our new psychologist and told her everything that was happening and she felt that my wife should be assessed because she believed that she would benefit from a few days of 24 hour supervision. We went to the hospital and the social workers said that she did not meet the requirements to be committed. I did not agree with them but I am not a doctor.
I did not want a divorce from my wife, but feel like I have been forced into this situation. I said things out of anger and I am trying to do everything I can to save my marriage. The next day we met with our counselor and I was completely honest with my wife about how I felt she had been treating me and told her that I would no longer accept being treated that way. I told her that I had lost all trust I had in her. This was the first time she actually broke down and seemed to realize what all she had done to our relationship. This was the first time that she apologized for any of her actions. We have been seeing the counselor almost every other day since then and seems like things are getting better. She seems to be trying to actually change things in her life make up for the past issues. I love my wife with all of my heart and I am willing to walk through hell to fight this illness and get my soul mate back.
I pray everyday that this person sticks around because I do not have it in me to go through another day like we had 2 weeks ago.
I am new to all of this and any advise that anyone can offer is greatly appreciated.
Thanks.