So, I usually post in the anxiety and depression forums on healing well, however, I am posting here because lately i've been wondering whether or not what I am actually dealing with could be Bipolar II. One of my family members suggested this a couple of months ago, and I thought it could not be possible because I do not have wreckless behavior or do anything excessively (spending a lot, for example, or substance abuse issues) however, I have been looking into Bipolar II because I can see a lot similarities to how
I feel and my symptoms in Bipolar II when I read about it. I am nearly 21 years old, female, and have had some issues with anxiety and depression for many years (since I was a teenager). my symptoms have been more severe over the past five years, and even more so over the past two years. Some of my symptoms are:
Anxiety:
- Racing, various intrusive thoughts (some of these are scary and just awful) Derealization (constantly feel in a fog)
Issues with sleep pattern- staying up all night, sleeping all day (usually 10 or more hours, however, sometimes I can't sleep at all and end up staying up 24 hours- i've avoided this lately though because it increases my anxiety a lot).Restlessness, very agitated, on edge feeling, Constant uncertainty about everything (questioning whether my thoughts are true, if I am a good person, etc). Never feel like I can really rest,OCD- checking,Doing or saying things without thinking, Many fears, Very angry at times (this was very bad when I was a teenager. As an adult,
I still feel very angry, but I don't express it verbally as much. I do argue in writing though sometimes though and say mean things, which I feel bad about).
(my anxiety used to be more positive- creativity, thinking very positively, but the past couple years or so it's been very negative). (my depression tends to be worse in winter, anxiety is worse in summer- this is what I have been noticing over the past couple of years anyways).
Depression:
Crying a lot, very low thoughts, Persistent depression- I'm always either moderately or severely depressed, feeling slightly numb sometimes, complete inability to enjoy life.
These are some of my more major symptoms. Besides my emotional symptoms, I always feel very tired and just unhealthy in general. I have thought before that I could be feeling the way I do because of my lifestyle (I don't have any friends or speak to most of my family members often, and haven't for years, do not do much with my time except watch tv and go on computer) so I thought I might just be really affected by my lifestyle, but I find it really hard to overcome my issues so that I can improve my life, especially because I can't wake up and go anywhere during the day. I have an appointment to see a counseler, however, I currently am unable to go see a psychiatrist because there is only one in the town, and this psychiatrist and other mental health employees at the
organization I went to made some very demeaning comments/asked questions related to my level of intelligence
and education (the psychiatrist asked if I went to a school for people with disabilities when I was upgrading classes to attend university, not knowing anything about me, and I have absolutely no idea why they asked me this because it makes no sense at all- I am currently writing a complaint letter about them), they spoke to me like I was stupid, so I don't feel comfortable going there. Also, I have been to my doctor several times about this and they will do nothing to help. I feel so frustrated because all I want to do is change my life and feel better. I always feel like something isn't quite right and just off, and just want to feel normal.
Anways, I'm sorry that this post is so long. I would really appreciate any comments. I know I need to get a professional opinion, but i'm hoping that someone here can tell me whether or not my symptoms might be related to Bipolar Disorder.
Post Edited (anxious0813) : 8/19/2013 5:39:57 AM (GMT-6)