Please god help me...

My wife has Bi Polar and I am having trouble being strong. I understand that she has no idea or concern at the time that she is being mean or just plain awful. But it's getting worse.

She cuts me down at all times in front of our 11 year old son and he is now to the point that he says maybe he needs a counselor to talk to because he doesn't know how to tell his mother or I, that he hates how she cusses at me. Or we always argue. I will say the problem may also lie with me. I have always been someone to hold my ground and when she accuses me of something that is so far fetched it gets my blood boiling.

I am the only one working in this relationship, and bust my tail for us to have money. Now I find out we may not have the money for our rent this month until my check on the 9th.

To make the situation worse, my wife called her Psychologist sometime in the morning while I was at work and left a message with the receptionist saying that she needed to speak with her badly. She met with her counselor yesterday since she couldn't get in touch with her Pdoc and they spoke briefly on my wife's rapes when she was younger. They didn't go into detail but merely scratched the surface before my wife shut down. She finished up the session and then went to Dillard's and Belk. Which I had no idea... She did not text me once she was done like she usually does instead she "forgets" until about 6:30... 2 hours she spent at the mall. Which I find out... She was caught shop lifting.
I know she was in a manic state. She always wants to buy or get new things when she is in that state. I am a fool for leaving her with the responsibility to manage our account. As I looked in it today, I found out I have 2 new credit cards in my name which I never applied for and they are both maxed.

I am furious, hurt, and embarrassed. It was one thing when she was diagnosed with Bi Polar. I am her rock and I would take a bullet for her and my son... But now, she is a thief!? Now she has to go get fingerprints, a photo, and go in front a judge. I pray they don't charge her with theft... But that is just overly optimistic.

I am confident that her Pdoc and doctor can provide proof that she has been officially diagnosed as having Bi-polar. What are the chances they will drop the theft charge and just give us the court fees? She is also seriously considering admitting herself.

On a professional level, does she even have a chance of getting a nursing job (RN) if she has Bi Polar 2 or if she has a theft charge? It was 300 dollars in items. Which isn't a felony but labeled a "petty" theft, and it is also her first charge period. No tickets or anything so much a blemish.

I know her meds have killed her sex drive. I believe so anyway... Except another worry I have is she has a friend... Her friend is a she and I noticed that she has been deleting all of her texts except for when the medicine knocks her out. I saw her texts the other night. "I wish you I was there with you." The woman- "Then I wouldn't get ANY work done." My wife- "Your right, I love you so much, baby."

Maybe she is Bi sexual because she is still polite and sweet to me. When she isn't angry with me... Or am I just being played? I have no idea but my head hurts, my hurt aches, and I am terrified if I leave or she leaves I will never see my son again because I am legally only his step dad and have no parental rights. I want her medicine to get straight because I think that it will make everything better.

I know this is alot to digest and everywhere but I am at work and can not focus until I can share this... Why not with strangers because no way I can tell someone I actually know because let's face it... This sounds like a Quinton Terrateno script.

Thanks- Red

Red,
I can only imagin what you may be going through, either she is not on the correct meds, or she has a Doctor who is not paying attention. It seems when she is in a lot of pain or fustration, she is shopping/shoplifting this is crossing the line and putting the family and herself at risk. She may be an addict, yes a shopping/stealing is easing something inside. Some of us gamble, use drugs, drink, or even addicted to sex. These are all addictions. She needs to first be on the right meds and take them. Then she either needs to be admitted by you for 72hour evaluation and get mental health counseling. As her spouse if she is purposing these dangers in her household, her life, your life and your childs you as the only reasonal adult right now needs to get her admitted before things get so bad she destroys herself and family. Mental Illness happens to many of us in many forms and when treated with extensive therapy she and your family can begin to heal.

Please for the good of all ask God to help it dont matter right not where you stand with Him, you come as you are and make that step, either have her go in voluntaraly or you can get her admitted. She will have acess to more help, a varity of doctors and a wealth of resources.

I so wish you the best, and your not alone, but you have to do something and dont give up on her. I know its hard and seems unfair, but you just may be her saving grace right now!