Vulnerability and all things related

I would suggest a pen pal. By not actually knowing the person, it might be easier to communicate with them. It will also relieve some of the loneliness without putting another person in harms way of your bipolar. Or give them the opportunity to betray you, if you are prone to paranoia like me.

Other than that...I don't know. I have failed in the same issue.

Hey, thank you both. I agree with both of you. anika, I do get a lot of interaction through facebook and that is a really good forum for me to stay connected to the world and actively engaging without the intensity of close friendships. Megan, I take your points too. When I reread my post after writing it a couple of days ago, I had the same perspective. I was talking to my psychologist today that hoping for a healthy social life is indeed a flight of fantasy until I get those core issues better managed and stabilised. I cannot establish a firm foundation to my social life with my health as it is. I agree the trick is to continue to get as stable as I can. Although I will never be fully stable, over a period of year, I do hope I will be able to develop a small patch of sanity to build some respectful sustainable connections on. I suffer from hypersexuality as part of my bipolar and the past 7 weeks have been particularly difficult, but I have managed not to get involved with the object of my desire and I am extremely proud of myself for that - and I have averted a disaster. It takes a lot of strength to be able to sit with very uncomfortable feelings and own them as part of my own disorder without responding to them. Every human the world over has an innate desire to feel good and we can easily try to avoid the less-than-desirable emotions through activities that come with consequences; like over eating, drinking, drugs, companionship, sex, gambling, shopping. Good nutrition, good sleep, four legged friends, being in nature, hobbies, meditation, healthy pursuits are all things that make us feel good without harmful consequences. When I am vulnerable it is important to be discerning with who I let my walls down with. I also can tend to be vulnerable to martyrdom due to psychological issues related to abuse. I am learning to put my needs for safety ahead of the need to contribute and help others. I am learning to get back to basics and keep managing my health, my self care and my home care. I am reminding myself I can be assertive and push people away if it is in my best interests; that sometimes I am allowed to make decisions totally in my best interests only. I can replace sexual desire, love addiction and craving for companionship with my true hearts desire. Creating the life I want for myself I think is the way to create that foundation for more substantial situations to develop and be maintained in my life. There won't be any miracle cure but I can take up the challenge to reclaim my sense of self within my own person and my own relationship with myself - rather than be lazy and externalise all those issues on my relationships with others. I feel I need to do everything in my power to get my health straight. Possibly you ladies may relate?
Jade x

Hi Jade

I am in the happy position of not being in a relationship in order to conquer some of my own psychological demons, but interacting with my colleagues is getting increasingly difficult.

In my field mental illness is frowned upon and viewed as dangerous, so I cannot be truly honest with the people around me. This means that I do not have close friends and sometimes feel very isolated from the people around me. But it will be better for my career to just seem sane for the time being.

Before I can enter a relationship I need to be happy or at least have come to understand my BP better. This means that I have a lot of work to do. I cannot share my problems with the people I see on a daily basis and at the moment they are the only people I see. Thus I am lonely but not alone.

Yet I believe that vulnerability cultivates strength. In loneliness you shall find power. And in fear you shall see courage.

I wish you well.
Annick

PS: With pen pal I meant the old fashioned approach. The use of pen, paper and the mailing system. There is nothing quite like the hope you cling to to get a letter in the mail. I has always made me happy.

You're welcome Jade.
I'll try my best to pop in when I can again.

Hope you're doing okay.

UA

Hey Bill! Good to see you :)

Yes, I have a new addition to my life in the past couple of months. I have the most gorgeous ginger desexed male cat. He is incredibly affectionate and is most definitely the best thing I have in my life. He is the perfect animal for me. I completely agree with you... furry four legged friends are the best!

I shook the object of my desire loose, so that has greatly helped taken the fuel off the flame of the biological hypersexuality symptoms. To resist getting involved with someone that I was incredibly attracted to, and emotionally close to, during weeks of hypersexuality was certainly an testament to my strength and determination not to have symptoms determine my life.

If I had given in to desire I would have been in a world of trouble right now. So glad to have averted that situation.

Yes, technology is a great window to the world, especially now when I am essentially bedridden and home bound. I try and maximise that the best I can too. It seems what works best for you is similar to what works best for me too. In my DBT group I was surprised by how different we all were and how differently each strategy worked for each of us.

I'm glad you have an "extroverted" job that helps you get that interaction :). I'm sure you would be a delight to be served by.