Hi. New to this site. Diagnosed BP August,2012

Hi. While I have not been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I do have social anxiety and depression, so I can relate to struggling with both of these conditions. I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing with so much and feel overhelmed- having so many conditions to manage seems like it would be very stressful. Do you see a counseler? I think it could be helpful for you to be able to discuss all of the concerns that you have and working on a way to resolve all of your concerns. It sounds like you are trying to keep up with all of your responsibilities while trying to seem very together, and sometimes this is just impossible when you are going through a difficult or stressful time. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I think the best thing to do sometimes is just talk about how you are feeling, whether it be to a professional or a friend or family member you can trust. I wish I could give you more advice than this, but I hope this helps anyways.

You sound like a true survivor DFTTYM! Being a mother of 3 is enough in itself... let alone all you have to contend with within yourself each day. I know myself I often felt less than a good mum because I struggled so much myself as a mother. I am estranged from my son now but despite all my mistakes, I do hope that the silver lining of his experience of having me as his Mum is that he has far more insight than many other people. I couldn't change my dx's so I tried to be a role model on how to best manage illness instead.
I relate to your exhaustion, times of despair and even occasional sense of hopelessness. It is a tough road we are on, but we must remember that although our challenges may be at a higher level, everyone has human emotions. Although our illnesses may impact on our lifestyles, every other human still has to process life, no matter how healthy and fortunate they may be. No one can avoid pain and suffering completely in life... we just happen to experience a lot more of it. While we can reduce some of our suffering through medication, therapy and good lifestyle decisions, there is some suffering that comes and goes that we can try to accept and find meaning in.
It is easy to become envious of people who's lives seem far easier; but we also have to be careful of not comparing our insides to other people's outsides. It is amazing the serious and severe challenges that some people hide behind a wall of cheerfulness and good humour. We assume they've got it all together, yet they may struggle just as much as us, and sometimes even more - without any signs or clues whatsoever.
You are not a failure. It is okay to get sick and tired of pain and suffering. It is okay to have bad days.
Jade xo