Insane skin picking

Welcome Starr,

It seems more like a OCD trait than a bipolar trait, but that said, there is no harm in brainstorming possilbe solutions.

People have urges to do a lot of destructive things a lot of the time and usually get so kind of relief from following destructive urges through. Eventually the consequences start to outweight short term relief and we have to re-examine our behaviours to live a life more in line with what we most value. There is no need to feel like a freak. Billions of people end up with short term pleasant activities turning into harmful addictions!

Firstly don't ever try to not want to do it - you need to accept that urge will be with you for life. Urges are something the billions of other addicts in the world need to manage on a day to day basis. Don't fall for the trap in thinking that anything will take those urges away, instead you have to build your capacity to manage the urges.

Like finding any new coping strategy you have to try on a lot to see what is most effective for you. Also what you regard as "success" may need to be re-evaluated. If you have been doing this since a child a slight reduction in frequency, body area, and intensity may be what is realistic success for you.

In terms of brainstorming alternative sensations that may help you "urge surf", some things you might like to experiment to see if they can be used as the occasional "instead" activities that we are looking for. Strong sensations are usually the most distracting; sex, dancing vigourously to very loud music, holding ice in your hand for as long as you can stand it, have a hot shower. Given that you have an obsession with smoothness, maybe even purchasing some of the smoothest textured fabric you can find and using that as comfort for your sense of touch. Because smoothness is something you relate to your skin, possibly feeling the fabric over you skin may help. There are NO cures for this sort of thing; just activities that help divert us from the actions that make us feel good temporarily but cause greater long term problems in our life.

Most compulsive behaviour caused by a genetic predisposition to it as well as some environmental trigger. Having a multi-pronged approach for multi-pronged causations to my mind is the only sensible way to proceed. The activities you describe as useless actually do help mitigate these issues but they are a daily exercises; strengths that build up over time. No one expects to lose 20kg in one gym session. We know it takes a combination of a sensible, balanced diet, treatment of any impacting illnesses, and long term commitment. Strengthening our mental health and urge management is no different. Furthermore, some people are not designed to lose 20kg. While they may want to lose 20kg, their body cannot lose more than 10kg. For those people losing 10kg is absolute success and they need to rejoice in that. Hope you can follow my analogies.

Sometimes our definition of "success" is what needs altering.
Sometimes wishing for the eradication of urges is completely unrealistic esp for urges that stem back to childhood.
Sometime accepting each urge while managing it the best we can, each urge at a time is our own personal miracle that needs to be celebrated on an urge by urge basis.

If there isn't a OCD forum, you may find anxiety forum a good place to hang out. Bipolar forum is notoriously slow and anxiety forum is very active and vital.

Good luck and a warm welcome to HW!

Jade xo