Anikka,
I think you may possibly fall into the same trap as I do.
My doctors tell me to do LESS. They encourage me to limit my self pressure, and lower my expectations of myself. They also tell me that I am not as much of a "freak" as I think I am. We both have multiple illnesses that treatment doesn't do what it should do and it is fair enough to be frustrated by that.
We don't have to like it, but the fact remains that life is NOT a level playing field. Like a computer game we are all given different levels to play at and its up to us to do our best with the level we are on. That helps me get through... my absolute determination not to let the computer win!!!
(I have attempted to avoid cliches there, so please give me credit for delivery - even if the substance stinks okay!
).
That is what gets me through. Accepting my current situation is as it is, whether I like it or not. I treasure the good times and endure the bad times. I make my life not about
externals but about
what I can do each day within what ever capacity I have to align my life to my values. It helps take the "heat" out of whether it is a good or bad day. It makes the question; "Okay given my symptoms today, what is realistic and achievable for me to do to live according to my values".
I've let go of the fantasy of it all being okay one day. Life just isn't like that. Even people on levels of the computer game of life that we may regard as "easy" still struggle relative to the level they are on.
For me, I take whatever I think is the most effective action in a situation and let go of the outcome. We really don't have as much control over outcomes as we like. We can only do our best and see how it pans out, and refine if we so choose.
Sure, it mightn't be helpful for everyone, but that's just what helps me.
Jade xo