Courage to Date

Howdy,

I've been getting to know this guy over the past few weeks. I haven't heard from him as expected, and even though I am not going to jump to any conclusions, or make assumptions, I am still quite disappointed not to hear from him.

If I hear from him again, I may learn more, otherwise it may be a case of "Ce La Vie".

If he's not all that into me, I would rather know now. Rejection now is far more preferable than experiencing what would have been avoidable heartache down the track.

Keep ya posted.

Jade.

LivingWell,

Would you mind shooting me an email - which you can find in my profile ?  I have a couple of questions for you?

Thank you,

Kitt

Hey LW,

I'm sorry things didn't work out with the guy. Being stood up was not a great first impression.

UA

I'm surprised how angry I have got with him for leading me on. I'm also surprised how it's affected my self esteem. I am blaming myself for him not acting very well. I am so disappointed.

Well with the news I got Wednesday, it was a good thing it didn't work out because I wouldn't want to drag anyone through what lies ahead for me. That said, I will still try casual dating at the times that I am well enough, but not get involved. I laid myself bare for this guy and he was insincere. I found out early, but it was still painful and disappointing, to lower my walls and be vulnerable and for it all to be a lie. Anyhoo, I will still try to live life as fully as I can in my severely limited capacity. The loneliness and isolation is a pretty tough gig, one that I know I'm not alone in. Severe illness makes us repulsive wet blankets to the majority of people unfortunately. When you don't have family and have been forced to relocate and cut ties with the past due to domestic violence and can't regenerate a life due to sickness, and every single effort seems to fail, it is a challenge to try to make life worth living.

Welcome to HW and bipolar forum ser-jaime.
I suppose the first step to get over your fear is that recognising what is portrayed in the media is not what all men (or women) want. Human sexuality is an extremely diverse area and some people find thin people are real turn off and are extremely turned on by the more volumptuous figure.
Most of us do understand what it is like to be heavier than we want to be and no amount of someone else being comfortable with our weight helps us with the discomfort that extra weight brings; both physically and psychologically. I think it is totally normal to feel our best at a healthy weight.
As most of us know here, illness can turn our best efforts on its head and we have to somehow come to terms with how things are while still chipping away at all the things that are important to us.
I think that you have identified that you would like someone interested in the arts to come into your life indicates you are already half way there... you know what you want. I suppose maybe try to really clarify what you do and don't want in a partner. Maybe its a time to explore your own values so you can readily identify whether someone else sees the world similarly to you and holds the same things dear as you do. Possibly you could join an internet dating site - hear me out lol - and set your profile to friendship only. What that will do will get you used to relating to people again, but without putting yourself out there to be judged on your weight or physical attractiveness - it will be a connection based on mutual interests. As you get used to interacting with like minded people, you might gain confidence to put yourself out there on the dating scene. I would be completely upfront with all aspects of you, so that you will be less likely to be rejected for the unique person you are down the track. I hope this helps. As you can see, it is very much a case of the blind leading the blind in this thread. Even though I'm not qualified to give advice in this area, I still don't mind brainstorming ideas to help you edge forward to a more meaningful life, just as I'm trying to do myself. Bipolar is a very quiet forum so if you do want to start a thread to introduce yourself, don't worry if you don't get many other welcome replies besides me. It's a bit of ghost town. Chronic pain I think is a pretty active forum, so you may want to check that out. Also there may be an Arthritis forum, not sure. PTSD issues are welcomed in the Anxiety forum, which I think is also more active than bipolar. You are very welcome to hang out here with me but if you want more interaction, those forums may be nice addition to hanging out here :). Also people tend to use chat here around 8pm site time. If you press the chat tab and see what the site time is and compare it to your local time, you will be able to gauge the best time to have real time chat with other chronic illness sufferers. It is a mixed group and we float around in each others rooms so don't feel you can't go into a particular chat room just because you don't suffer from that particular illness. I understand isolation and loneliness. This site helps me in that way... try it out and see if it is for you. Again a warm welcome to you. Jade xo

Sorry to hear about your cat Jade. I'm glad he made it and is okay now. Animals are very nice especially dogs and cats. They tend to be caring.

Please know that you will not be alone for Christmas. We are always here for you.

Hope you app goes well.

Take Care

UA

Just replied in your other thread. Sounds like he's much better. I'm happy to hear that.

It hurts when it doesn't work out with someone we want it to work out with. It may take some time for you to get over it. If he blew the 3 chances, it's not worth it.

What you are going through is tough. Certain situations makes us change our thinking.
If you really feel you're ready, then you can go for it. If you're not ready, wait until you're sure you are ready to give it a shot again.

Keep us update on how you're doing.

UA