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Posted 12/3/2013 12:33 PM (GMT 0)
Just introducing myself. I was diagnosed as manic depressant when I was a teenager, now known as bipolar. I had glandular fever, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, arthritis in my legs all diagnosed before I turned 20. Recently discovered high blood pressure, high glucose, high cholesterol, from putting on weight which would have a lot to do with my medications. Now it's possible I have fibromyalgia, will keep u posted. LOL. I have more lows then I do highs. Deep depression, anxiety, physical pain, little concentration would all be my main gripe I think. Wife, mother of 4 children, sahm.
Posted 12/3/2013 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, you are amazing!
To live in that much pain and to keep a marriage going and to parent four children. I take my hat off to you.
Wife and mother aren't "roles" or "identities"; they both gritty hard work that you do day in day out, day after day.
It is a real achievement and testament to your amazing strength, resilience and dedication.
P.S What does sahm mean?
Posted 12/3/2013 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi!
Another sahm (stay at home mom) with a large family (7) here. I share a lot of conditions with you, the fibro, the CFIDS, the IBS, arthritis, hypothyroid, migraines, etc. and mental illness since teens (wasn't diagnosed until I was 25).
I have more lows then highs too, maybe 1-2 manic or mixed episodes a year unless I'm rapid cycling. I have irritable mania, so my "highs" aren't really all that high.
Nice to "meet you"!
Posted 12/4/2013 2:53 AM (GMT 0)
thanks ormommy... I was a sahm too, now that I know what it means :D
Posted 12/4/2013 11:41 AM (GMT 0)
Yes stay at home mum is what I mean sahm. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to hold a job for long or continue study. It has taken a long time to finally accept the responsibility and importance that I have at home and seriously that's a handful in itself. Nice to meet you both :)
Posted 12/5/2013 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hello amshorty5 and ormommy,

Just saying hi and welcoming you both...

I'm sorry to read about both of your dx. You both have a lot going on. But it seems that you have been handling it okay.

amshorty5: I'm not a 'sahm' but I agree with you. It is a handful and a full time job.

Well, I hope to learn more about you both.

Take Care

UA
Posted 12/14/2013 11:06 AM (GMT 0)
I need to vent, up to u if u read!

I'm getting to know the signs pretty well when I'm heading for a downer. I even have an action plan with my psychologist. But as I thought, it doesn't seem to be working. You see, for years I've dealt with it on my own. Over the last two years it's been leaking out. I'm getting worse and unable to keep it a secret. On my plan I'm to talk to hubby first but I'm afraid to cause he threatens to send me to the psych hospital. My mother in law was happy to step in with the kids last episode but something's changed plus she would want to paid and I can't. My psychologist is next but a part from leaving a message she can't help till Monday. I could ring psych services to chat but what do I chat about? Lol. It's scary going down. I want help but that's scary too ....
Posted 12/14/2013 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
amshorty5

You can talk with us here and you can also post on the depression forum and the anxiety forum as you will find lots of support in both of those forums.

Remember here in HealingWell we are all peers and we do not judge but share kindness, advice from our own backgrounds and a huge sprinkling of love and caring for each other.

Remember this is your special place to come so do not share your user name or password with anyone else and feel comfortable talking to us about what is happening. WE do not judge anyone.

I have Anxiety disorder and as well as major depressive disorder - I have found so much support here in the forums where others know where your coming from and what your going through.

In reading your words I see your plan is set up that your hubby is your first go to person and that is not working out well - instead of being there for you and just listening he is being verbally abusive.  I understand this well as I always used my husband and over the past 4 years he talks like you hubby.

I discussed this with my Psychiatrist who said my husband is not able to be my support person as he seems to become frustrated with my long history of depression and lashes out at me telling me I have to just stop feeling depressed which has ended in my feeling down for days.  I was dx in 1982 so it has been a long haul for him but the anger issues " at my depression" have come out even more since I have a major cancer dx ( 2012). 

In fact my Dr. suggested that if my hubby tries to turn my own problem back on me because I don't try hard enough, I should walk away and don't getting into an argument with him.

I now fall back on 2 friends first and usually just having someone to talk with is what helps the most and yes, crying.  The tears come easily when I am really down.

My email is open and the forum is open 24/7.  Keep on talking with us.

Kindly,

Kitt 

 

Posted 12/15/2013 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
I wouldn't want to leave my kids with a grandmother who wants to get paid for having her grandkids.

What an awful situation!

Yes, your genes may give you the susceptibility to depression, but our environment has a lot to do with it too. Sounds like you are wonder woman and there is no one to help out when you lose your cape?

Remember hubby is a joint and severally 100% shareholder in those kiddies... while we all contribute differently, it is up to both parents to keep their kid's heads about water, healthy and happy. If neither parents are temporarily able, quality care needs to be somehow sought elsewhere.

As a very protective mum, I found it difficult to let others look after my son, but I had to keep looking for quality options in order to best manage my mental health. For you with 4! That is HUGE. Try accessing community organisations or even church organisations for help with this. It is too big a strain to do on your own.

With the absence of community support, I have been forced to advertise publicly for help. I meet them in a public place, get required info from them and assess their character before giving them my address. It may sound terribly risky but the fact is the friendship and support that I have got from my "risky" ads, have brought some of the most generous, ethical, respectful and thoughtful people into my life.

You may want to consider posting an online ad "Basic Emotional and Practical Support Volunteer Wanted"... Hi, I am a parent of four children. I have little in the way of family support and find it hard to keep up given that I have a debilitating health condition. I could really use someone to drop in on me, once a week and have a cuppa and chat and maybe help me hang out one load of laundry. If you have just one hour of free a week, you could make an enormous difference to my and my kids' week! Thank you."

I use my initials so it can't be known if I'm male or female and I'm cautious of people who may be trying to exploit my vulnerability. If you are very judicious, it might be an option.

My volunteer is the highlight of my week!

Adjust your meds if required, take prn, batten down the hatches, ask for and accept help. Weather the storm. The sun will shine again, Shorty xo

Keep venting... venting is medicine for us women ;) xo
Posted 12/15/2013 4:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hey amshorty5,

I'm sorry about what's happening. I agree with LW. I don't think your MIL should charge you for taking care of the kids which are her grandchildren for a little period of time until you're better. If it was constant like daily, then it may be different. But in this case, I think she should be happy to step in and be able to assist.

I'm sorry your psychologist can't help until Monday. I know some on of them invite their patients to e-mail them if necessary and they respond within 24 hours. Not sure if this an option with yours.

This can indeed be scary as you said. I've been there many times and I dislike the feelings I felt. Don't give up. We're here for you. Feel free to vent anytime. Hang in there.

UA
Posted 12/15/2013 10:14 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks to all. Still not doing well. Nights are always the worse. I've given up seeking help. I've got a gp appointment tomorrow re blood test results, I'll try to get to that. I left a message for my psychologist so I might here from her tomorrow too. I'm off to bed, night all x
Posted 12/15/2013 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
amshorty5

Never give up on seeking help as you need someone right now.  As far as your MIL, perhaps she is setting boundaries or perhaps she would have to  give up time where she would be paid for working and needs the funds?  Just a thought.  If this is your hubby's Mother it would be nice if he could talk with his Mom. 

When we are down and out and in need it is often hard to understand why someone would not say yes to us but when we are well we understand why people sometimes need to say no, sorry. 

When you see your Dr. explain what is going on and perhaps he/she will have some suggestions of resources that could help you out or hook you up with Social Services which has lists of resources for people in need.

If it is OK, I will keep you in my prayers and hope that things turn around quickly for you.

Gentle Hugs,

Kittt

Posted 12/15/2013 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Thinking of you. Don't let this illness have you forget that you are a good person xo
Posted 12/16/2013 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there amshorty5! Nights are worst for me too since it's when I'm alone and most of my emotions settle in and comes out. I hope you were able to get some rest last night.

Hope the appointments goes well. Keep us updated and let us know how you're doing.

UA
Posted 12/17/2013 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
Blood tests came back fine, like all tests lol, which then makes u feel stupid yet again!

Someone said I need to stop looking for why I am the way I am and feel the way I am and just except it. My husband certainly can't, it's not fair on the kids and it's scary for me not to mention frustrating etc.

I have come to accept that the medications do help know now that my levels are right. I have strategies to deal with most days. I find it extremely hard to get out of a low.

Anyway more rambling, I need sleep!
Posted 12/19/2013 7:50 AM (GMT 0)
There's no basis on which to feel stupid.
You are an active participant in your healing and you have every reason to feel proud.
It's all very well for people who don't have their moods, energy levels and thought processes turned upside down by bipolar just to say "accept it". If only they understood what a destructive illness it is.
I think you are doing the best by yourself, your hubby and your kids by trying to manage it the best you can.
Mood stablisers are more to manage mania, not depression.
Sometimes with deep persistent lows, we need to discuss with our prescribing doctor, whether to lighten our dose of mood stabilisers temporarily or add a little bit of antidepressant to bring us out of a low.
Our "levels being right" is oxymoronic, if it means we are stuck in an extended low.
It is a very healthy drive to want to function properly Shorty and I support you every step of the way to best achieve that objective.
Hugs,
Jade xo
Posted 12/23/2013 1:10 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks living well :)
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