Could this be a type of bipolar???

I am wondering if I might have some form of Bi-polar. I am fine in on agian off agian patterns. I am not sure but dont think I have ever felt manic or had full blown hillusination(though sometimes I feel like someone is watching me when there is no one around even in my own house tho i have sence enough to know its my imagination) or any other sevre symptoms. I have been severly depressed and sometimes it is triggered by nothing. I will be fine for months but wake up one morning feeling horrid and by the end of the day want to kill myself for no reason at all, wake up the next day and feel fine and not even know why I acted in such a way. Sometimes the depression lasts for a bit longer as long as a month or more but I am fine now and have been fine for a sevral months. I do not know if this qualifies as bi-polar and I have been fine without medications and am fine as i write this. I have just been noticing a pattern. I found an old journal a few days ago when I was going through some old things from highschool days, and in my journal i talk about my depression. It kind of made me recognise the pattern and realize that these were not just isiolated incidents and maybe I should get some type of help before it comes back agian.  I guess I have felt depression sense I was a child. I can remember it coming fully in the 9th grade and lasting for sevral years until I decided to talk about it with someone. When I was in the 6th grade I did used to be a cutter. I think mostly for attention because i do not remember feeling depressed when I was this young, but maybe I was??? Does this type of pattern sound like bi-polar even though I lack most of the severe and common symptoms????

I am a social drinker on rare occasions, but I do not do any type of drugs. I am young and as far as I know healthy, so I do not take any kind of medications. I try to stay on a organic(vegetarian) diet and so the idea of taking medications or drugs kind of disgusts me. I can't imagine what triggers these episodes. I feel all of the sudden worthless and I know that it's not normal. It hasnt happened in a while but I can remember very vividly exactly what it was like and the pain I was feeling was more intense and severe than any other type of depressed feelings I had felt before.

Hi, mlbsss,

Have you, even once, had a period where you were, though not full-blown manic, 'higher' than usual.  Happier than the average person would be?  What we call 'hypomanic.'

If so, you may have the illness that's considered Bipolar Type II.  This is a relatively newly-described 'subtype' that's characterized by predominantly depressive periods, with  at least one 'hypomanic' episode.. .

A lot Type II people don't get properly diagnosed for years, because a lot of docs aren't even aware of it yet (esp. older docs and/or those who don't keep up with the current literature too well).

You might want to take a look at these links; they describe Type II well; descriptions of hypomania typically follow the descriptions of mania, also note 'rapid cycling' (some people have 'ultra-rapid cycling' where moods can change as frequently as within a day's time):

one of my favorite sites, open to new ideas but very factual, McMan's:

http://www.mcmanweb.com/article-5.htm

From PostGraduate Medicine Online, the 'official' descriptions of types of bp (& a very good site)

http://www.postgradmed.com/issues/2005/02_05/citrome.htm

CrescentLife, good site, very simple & clear about hypomania as usually described

http://www.crescentlife.com/disorders/bipolar%20disorder.htm

http://www.familyaware.org/expertprofiles/drghaemi2.asp

A very well-done one, from E.Medicine

http://www.emedicine.com/ped/topic240.htm

From NIMH (Natl. Institutes for Mental Health)

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolarresfact.cfm

Well, that's gotta be more than enough (am I a bit hypomanic? LOL)

I'm new here; will try to post a 'hello' within a day or 2.  There's a lot of stuff going on in my life right now.

Hope this is of some help, & hi everybody,

CM

 

 I just recommend seeing someone, specifically a  pdoc, you have opinions based on what you said. One saying no, one saying type I , one saying type II. With more clarification to a professional they will be able to dx you. And possibly it might take longer to tell exactly what type you have, but at least if you are indeed bipolar , getting for it first hand is best, knowing what type later could be better for you to understand what you are going through. Good luck to you!         nickie.