Posted 4/6/2014 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
I am feeling a bit low and desperate. I think maybe my partner is Bipolar.
We were in an incredibly happy and devoted relationship (really...NO problems between us) with kids involved and during a moment of extreme stress on him, he experienced some sort of breakdown.
He left his family out of the blue, ended it by text, then rented his own house literally within 48 hours! He refused to see me or speak to me and when he eventually did he was very arrogant, cruel and said he didn't love me anymore.
He then spent a month behaving very strangely. He stayed up late every night. He started telling incredible lies (ones which could easily be verified as rubbish). He joined every ****ographic website known to man. He ordered "pheramones" at a very high cost (even though he had no money) which are used to chemically attract women. He registered himself on countless explicit dating sites and spent hours every night sending absolutely disgusting messages. He even cut pictures of me out and used them on these sites :(
It was like he turned into an insane stranger and I was wondering if this might sound like some sort of manic episode. It's hard to describe how reckless this behaviour is but obviously walking on on your family and a relationship without a single issue in that way is not "normal" and certainly not normal for him.
Eventually, he seemed to have some sort of crash, and he got very low.
We went through an up and down period where he would contact me, acting like his "old self" and would tell me he loved me, he was sorry and please could we fix it - only to suddenly descend back into NOT loving me and being certain of this.
I suggested he see the doctor and when he eventually agreed he was diagnosed with severe depression and is being treated now with SSRIs and seeing a counsellor.
While he makes progress with these things (he has stopped uncontrollably crying and he is more stable) he is also now completely devoid of emotion, completely without interest in anyone but himself and has no human compassion at all for the pain he has caused me.
It's hard to explain but over a period of four months, the kindest, gentlest, sweetest man in the world who absolutely adored me and the kids turned into a different person.
He lies, he is spiteful, he is nasty, aggressive, cold, heartless and can literally watch me cry and beg in front of him while he barely flinches. Far from feeling any guilt, he acts arrogant, egotistical, illogical and NOTHING whatsoever resembling the man I have known for many years.
He has these weird moments which last anything from 10 minutes to a few days where he becomes very weird. During those period he is euphoric, laughs when people are crying, mocks people nastily and he describes this as unpleasant for himself because he can't stop it happening. The GP said it might be the medication but it seems a very odd thing.
I can't possibly explain how incredibly painful all this has been on myself and my children. It came out of nowhere. No one we know can understand any of it.
I have glimpses of the person he was sometimes, and when this happens it feels like I am safe and everything is okay again. During these times he seems to acknowledge the things he has said and done but he seems confused and doesn't know why he said or did them.
Right now, he is hating me again. He says I am to blame for his depression and staying away from me is best for him because I made him miserable. If questioned on that, he freely admits that I made him "the happiest man on earth" just weeks before he left but he does not notice how incomprehensible what he is saying actually is.
Please help.