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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 3/11/2015 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone. I found this website/blog/forum when searching on how to deal with lack of motivation. It feels promising as everyone seems to understand. I feel so alone all the time. A lone passenger on my Crazy Train.

A little about me. I work 32 hours a week as a measly admin asst because I can't handle the stress of a grown up job. I have an amazing husband who puts up with my shenanigans. I have a sweet little boy who is the light of my life and keeps the darkness from swallowing me whole. It's difficult because he has autism so I find myself overwhelmed all the time. Actually I find myself overwhelmed all the time with life. Working, being a wife, being a mom, cooking, cleaning, and all those other duties....

I am 40 years old and my therapist has just told me two months ago that she believes me to be bipolar. The wise mind in me says that makes so much sense. The non-sensical crazy in me says that "they" are trying to poison me. They being all those darn doctors. Yeah, paranoia seems to be my friend. I'm terrified of being drugged. I don't want to live a grey life.

So, I'm working my butt off trying to research and get educated on how to deal with me insanity without meds. I'm sitting with anxiety right now because I meet with the shrink in a couple hours and I am terrified that she will try and put me on a bunch of pills when I plan on telling her to take me off the one I am currently taking. Hating it as I think it is making things worse. I have never had such a lack of motivation before. I can't seem to bring up the desire to do anything. Maybe it's because my job is so boring and it is spilling into my personal life. Hum drum. That seems to be my destiny.

Anyway, I hope that I can find a little solace in this place as I am so very tired. Wish there was an app for this place so I can have you with me all the time.
Posted 3/11/2015 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Good luck to you. I wouldn't be scared of gray. I'm on lithium, latuda, cymbalta, and klonopin, and I do no feel drugged or gray. They are just correcting stuff on my brain, definitely for the better. Paranoia and anxiety is no fun. Hope you get sorted out and feeling less humdrum. :)
Posted 3/11/2015 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome, I'm happy you found us. This is a great community of people that understand how you feel and is supportive and caring.

I don't have any suggestions on how to beat bi-polar without meds, I take effexor and abilify. I'm sure others will post with hopefully some suggestions.
Posted 3/12/2015 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Life Worth Living,

Welcome to the forum! I am glad you joined. You will never be alone now. Please know that you have us :-)

I would suggest you talk to your therapist about treating Bipolar without meds when you attend you app. Bipolar is usually treated with both meds and therapy. However, there are things you can try such as aromatherapy, CBT, DBT, support group, etc. I did both CBT and DBT. DBT was hard but it is helpful.

Having a good support system is helpful. If your hubby aware of your Bipolar?

Please feel free to check out our resources area where you can find helpful info:
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839

Let us know how your app goes.

UA
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