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Posted 9/9/2006 6:34 PM (GMT 0)
Does anyone have problems with delusions on the back of mania?
I had really bad delusions the other day, I spent the whole day and night convinced my boyfriend and his parents were trying to kill me.
I couldn't sleep all night cos I thought he'd kill me if I fell asleep.
It was horrible!

I planned to run away the next day, though fortunately I finally did get some sleep, and woke up a bit more sane.

I've never had anything like that before, but then I've never had mania this bad either.

Only 3 weeks to go til I can see the new doctor and get all this sorted out!

I've got a copy of Bipolar Happens and I'm thinking of sorting out mania and paranoia health cards so I can try and work out ways of stabilising myself so I'll be ok for the next 3 weeks.

I'm just a bit worried about how bad those delusions were!
Posted 9/9/2006 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
That would be terribly frightening, I have my own issues there, I'm still a little hesitant to go into descriptions, but I've been there, have been there recently. Can these drs. not get you in any sooner if you tell them of the problem? Its horrible, I know trying to live through that on your own, mine are triggered by high stress, so sometimes just calming myself, be it a hot shower, or Klonopin, can help the situation to abate.
Maybe it won't reccur, but I'd still call the pdoc's office at the first opportunity and explain. Also does your boyfriend know about this? Sometimes it helps to have someone with you that can help to talk you back to reason. Doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps.
Take Care,
Ellie
Posted 9/9/2006 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
I don't have a pdoc, that's the problem.
In this country you have to be referred by a GP before you can see the pdoc. I'm moving in 3 weeks, so my GP won't refer me for anything as I'll be in a different town (despite the fact that the hospital he'd refer me to is the hospital I'll be referred to anyway!).
But when I move I can see a new GP straight away and get stuff sorted out.
I just hope it's a good GP!

My boyfriend knows; I've told him everything about what's going on. He's being really good and I'm going to get him to read the bipolar happens book and the health card system. That way, we can work out how to recognise if I'm getting bad together.
And he'll know what to do.

I think he's really frustrated; I didn't talk to him all day long the day it was bad. I just hid in my room (we're stuck in seperate rooms at the moment cos I'm in at his parents and there's not enough room in his tiny room for a double bed).
He didn't have a clue of what was going on, he just thought I was mad at him for some reason, so he gave me some space.
I worry about it though; he doesn't know what to do when it's bad cos I don't know what to do; so we're completely in the dark, and I think that frustrates him; he wants to help me, but he doesn't know how to.
I'm worried that I'm upsetting him too when I'm bad, and I know I must be annoying as all hell when I'm bouncing off the walls!
Though.. he's got ADD and hyperactivity.. so I have learnt how that must feel recently!
Though he has commented that I'm even worse than he is on a ton of sugar (sugar really triggers his hyperactivity)!

I'll definitely try to talk to him if I start thinking 'odd' things.. but... well, I didn't talk to him the other day cos I thought he hated me. It's so bloody difficult!
Stupid brain!
Posted 9/9/2006 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Djonma,

This does sound very frightening, and I'm so sorry you're going through it. I agree with Ellie that getting an earlier appointment is what's required here -- I also worry that if your new pdoc can't see you for another 3 weeks that they might not be as available as you might need at other times too. I suppose the things I'd want you to do is to call for cancellations and try to get in in the next couple of days, or call around other pdocs and see who can take you earliest. -- Yes, you want to make sure that you get a good, experienced pdoc, but you also want to make sure that you get one that's going to see you when you need to be seen -- after all, you're the customer -- and I'm concerned that you need to see someone as soon as you can and get on meds (or have meds adjusted) as soon as you can.

I'm glad you've got hold of Bipolar Happens: reading up on this illness can really help you to know what's what, and give you strategies for dealing with bad times. This is really proactive -- well done you!!

Keep us posted hun.

Rosie x
Posted 9/9/2006 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
It's not the pdoc that won't see me, it's just my current GP won't refer me to a pdoc because I'm moving in 3 weeks.
So in order to get referred to a pdoc, I have to wait 3 weeks for a new GP.

Unfortunately the NHS is STUPID and just fails anyone who moves regularly, or has any kind of chronic condition, especially mental health.

I will see if my next GP will see me before I move though. If I can get an appointment on a day my boyfriend is off work, then he can drive me to the next town to go to it, and I might get something sorted out. I'll ring them monday and see if they'll do that... but they might be closed out of term time - it's the university health centre. But I will definitely try!
Posted 9/9/2006 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
That sounds like a good idea. I'd give it a shot. And congrats on having a BF that is kind and understanding. Not all of us get that. Sounds like a great guy.
Ellie
Posted 9/9/2006 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, he's great :-)
Hopefully I can get this settled down and actually be good to him for a change hehe!
Posted 9/9/2006 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry Djonma -- I completely forgot your situation (been a tough couple of days here and I've lost my brain -- sorry!). Yes, try to get fixed up with the new GP asap -- as long as you know your new address it'll be fine (just tell them you've already moved in and give your mobile as the contact number -- they won't check and you'll be there in 3 weeks anyway so it's not a big deal). The other thing you could do is phone NHS direct and get some advice over the phone -- they might be able to recommend something, and you can talk to someone qualified. Keep us updated on how you go hun.

Rosie x
Posted 9/9/2006 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
NHS direct is a good idea!
I'm quite manic now though, and it's pretty late, so I'll ring them tomorrow and see what they reccomend.
My boyfriend and I just went for a nice calming walk though, which was really nice :-)

I won't know the address, other than the hall of residence I'm moving into. I won't know which block or room number or anything for a while yet, but I can explain my situation, and they should let me turn up.

Definitely will ring NHS Direct tomorrow :-)
Posted 9/9/2006 8:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Djonma,

Why don't you give the hall a buzz? Explain that you have to see a doc urgently and need to know any details they can give you in advance. They may well be able to help you. If not, what I'd do is just give the hall and address and make up a room number -- just in case there is beaurocracy stuff that means they can't see you unless you are actually resident (and there might be): I know you want to be honest and, yes, they *should* allow you to do this, but there might be red tapey things beyond their control, so I'd go for the white lie and make it easier. When you get the actual room number you can just fill out a change of address thingummy and say you were swapped rooms!

Glad you're gonna ring NHS Direct. -- Hope it goes well -- let us know! Also glad your lovely bf took you for that walk.

Take care,
Rosie x
Posted 9/10/2006 12:39 AM (GMT 0)
djonma,

it's terrible how badly the nhs has fallen since i was there in the70s-80s.  just spoke with one of my best friends in the uk and he told be (blimy!) that the torries are proposing more money for the nhs.  maybe if they get in........ no.  not a chance. :-)

sorry to hear of your problem with my favorite health service.  it sounds like your gp is a reincarnation of mine (mine died shortly after i left - no connection).  won't move even with a stick of dynamite.  calling nhs direct, as rosie suggested, may help.  also, as i recall, residence halls were just addresses.  couldn't you just give the address?  another possibility is what's called an "accomodation address."  these are businesses that acept mail for you in your name and provide you with a mailing address.  i know i used one during the 70s.

what university are you going to and what are you reading?  taught at a poly and at a college many yrs ago.  several of my friends went to redbricks (i  think it was reading).  forgot, i also taught there.  just getting old.  not rosie's problem, just mine.

hope things get better for you soon.  this illness isn't really that funny while you're living through it.

keep  us informed.

warren

Posted 9/10/2006 7:38 AM (GMT 0)
The NHS really has fallen apart. Blair seems to be doing his upmost to destroy the country before he's chucked out.

I'm going to be going to Reading University and doing Bioinformatics and Cybernetics. I'm really looking forward to it, which is the only thing keeping me going right now! Reading's got the best cybernetics dept in the country!

Nicola
Posted 9/10/2006 9:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Nicola,

Great to know what course you're going off to so -- very clever lady!! Wow -- that's some big achievement getting in to do that in such a good department. Bipolar may be a poopy illness, but it sure does come tied to some intelligent people!!

Rosie x
Posted 9/10/2006 9:32 AM (GMT 0)
I'm really lucky :-)

I'm having to do a foundation year in sciences first though as I didn't finish my A-Levels because my Dad nearly died in the middle of them and I was seriously abused when I was 16. The combination was just too much to cope with.
I had so much time out because Iwas in the hospital with my Dad, and then I couldn't cope anymore.

But I got an unconditional offer, and speaking to the foundation year course guy made me feel that I could really do this.

It's about time!

I'm a bit worried about how I'll cope with it all, but I'm realising more and more that my terrible study habits are probably due to bp, and if Ican get it under control it'll be a lot easier for me!
Posted 9/10/2006 11:16 AM (GMT 0)
i know that i'm 16 yrs out of date, but what is bioinformatics?  glad to know that reading built upon the foundation i left  :-) and has the best program(me) in something.  excuse my american and british spellings.

it sounds like you are really getting your act together.  congratulations!  i know it hasn't been easy for you,  if any of my reading is left, i know you'll adore the university.  it was fun for me way back when.

hang in there.  i know your current problem will be solved quickly.  this is a minor glitch in an otherwise great beginning.

warren

Posted 9/10/2006 11:20 AM (GMT 0)
Bioinformatics is taking cybernetics ideas (control systems) and applying them to biological control systems.
I want to go on to do Neuroscience.

:-)
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