i never expected this thread to get this long! i expected someone to simply tell me that i was probably in denial. i should have known that this group would actually provide input and support. i am truely humbled.
lazy,
i am not at all angry about my wife's cancer. she has been doing for me and supporting me for over 30 yrs. this is my opportunity to pay a little back. although i regret the circumstances, i am grateful for the opportunity, if that makes any sence.
i am really beginning to see that my anger/rage is a real symptom of bp. truely, i just accepted it as a part of my personality before this, like my strange sence of hunor. i'm still not sure about "cycling" though. i am usually in a state of depression and then flair up in a rage from time to time. after i flare up, i go back to depressed. there are a few - very few - instances of actually feeling good.
warren