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sister with bipolar need assist

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Posted 9/29/2006 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
I have never been to this specific site but Im looking for anyone who could assist me in what to do. My sister and I have pretty much been astrainged for the past 4 years. I was there for her and close at one time. Our relationship dewindled over the past 4 years because of her drug use. Shes almost 40 and about a year ago I moved back to the same town with her, I dont talk much to her but I know she needs help! I dont think that what is going on with her is bipolar. She is acting more like a pschosis. She has 3 warrents out for her arrest now, and is hiding. She goes from one place or another when she gets word that the police are coming. She doesnt know where I live. Sad huh? Only because of her theft and our safety. Well last night she called. She says her boyfreind is betting on her. She was hysterical and crying then in the next sentence she would laugh and whisper in to the phone. The turn of emotions is not new but the whispering is. It gave me a chill. Although I have no idea what she was saying when she was whispering. She spoke about feeling like she was poisoned from a freinds cat when she had to stay the night somewhere. She said "it smelled so bad that I think the cats poisoned me" Her normal manic depressive was when she was manic she would become irritated easy and 4 years ago she threatened me and charged at me several times. This is one reason why we are estranged. Her depressive states are suicidal. Yes she has been in the hospital several times for attempt. When a pysch doc interviews her she is very manipulative. She doesnt want to go to a mental hospital but I know she is very sick. I dont want to tell her to get lost because it may cause her to become violent towards me or herself. I dont trust her that is another reason why she doesnt know where I live. I know she is capable of many things. Does anyone else have these type of episodes? I just dont know what to do and I cant handle this kind of stress because of my lupus. Any suggestions would be helpful. I do know that I cant just call the police and have them evaluate for this, for one I know she will hide.

pearl

Posted 9/29/2006 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pearl,

This sounds like such a difficult situation. You say you don't think what's going on is bipolar, but you talk about your sister's manas and depression: does she have bipolar but you're worried this is something new? Untreated bipolar can result in behaviour that can be confused with psychosis. Alternatively, if she's been a heavy drug user (whether as a kind of self-medication because of the bipolar or otherwise), the behaviour you speak of could be related to that.

The problem, as you say, is that you can't get closer to her because of the risk to yourself, your damily and your property. However, that also gives you a potential help in this, because if a person is a danger to themself or to others they can be sectioned, whatever their view of the matter. You say that she'll hide from the police -- well, yes, that's possible, but the police are trained in overcoming this, and you are not trained in dealing with this situation (and nor should you feel that you should be -- though it's wonderful that you still care about your sister's well-being so much). Also, if she's not fully in control of herself, she's probably not going to be *that* good at hiding. I would talk to other members of your family and see if you can't get a united front on this. -- To me it seems pretty clear that your sister needs professional help -- and the best way to do that is to take control and get a section for her: she may not like being found, but she may get herself back and realise it was for the best -- and you might get your sister back too. I hope so. I know you may find all sorts of other reasons why the sectioning order might be too difficult, but I wonder if the reasons you find are to do with the guilt you feel about taking this action: it's not a nice one to have to take *but* at times it is the only one that will be kind in the long run -- and you've already seen that other things don't seem to help. -- And I don't think you *should* feel guilty for this: you clearly still love your sister and want to help her.

Really big hugs to you (((Pearl))) -- difficult decision, I know.

Rosie x
Posted 9/30/2006 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
rosie what does it mean to get a section order? Today has been tough, I did talk with a police officer and he assured me that he will go and arrest her at her home for her warrents. He also said that if someone answers the door that they will ask to search the premises and if her boyfreind or son doesnt allow it they will sit in front of her house and call the judge for a search warrent.
thanks for your support
let me know
pearl
Posted 9/30/2006 11:10 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Pearl,

Good progress -- you needed to get authorities involved here -- not something you could have helped with on your own, I reckon: it had just gone too far. And remember, sometimes the best love is tough love. :)

A section order (which may be called something different in the US) is the piece of paper you sign to get someone committed if their mental health condition is making them a danger to themself and/or to others. It means that the person committed will be kept in a psychiatric hospital for treatment until the risk is no longer considered to be present. -- It's basically an emergency measure for when someone is considered not to be in their right mind (i.e. unable to judge for themselves) and family are usually the people to sign the form.

Do keep us updated hun -- I really think you've done the right thing to help your sister in the long term.

Rosie x
Posted 10/1/2006 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
In the US the "Section Order" is called a Baker Act or a Marchman Act depending on whether its drug/alcohol related or mental health.  Either way, the person is held in a mental health facility involuntarily for 72 hours.  Sometimes it is extended if the person is still a threat to themselves or others.  It certainly sounds appropriate in this case.  Lots of luck and keep us posted.   Luv..Lazy
Posted 10/3/2006 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for the response. Here is what happened, last night my husband and I were stopped at a traffic light. We saw 3 police cars drive by, I happened to look in the back of the third police car because I had this weird feeling ( I get this way when something bad is about to happen) I saw a woman in the back that had the same color of hair as my sister. I didnt get a chance to see her face because her head was down but I felt very strongly that it was her. Well early this morning my husband called the jail and sure enough it was her that was in the back of the car. It makes me sad to know that I actually had so much relief that now our family will be safe and that she will hopefully be safe. I dont know the justice system here very well but Im hoping that maybe she will get some help from the inmate docs. I know they wont let her out on bail this time because she failed to appear for her hit and run with injury charge and was being sentenced the day she no showed. I guess time will tell either she stays on her meds or ends up in a mental hospital.
pearl
Posted 10/4/2006 9:45 AM (GMT 0)
(((Pearl)))

Terribly difficult for you to watch, I know, but also, as you say, a relief -- and you shouldn't feel bad about that. Your sister needs help, and, since she wasn't going to get it voluntarily, matters needed to be taken out of her hands. She's made you feel unsafe and afraid for your family; she's had a hit and run; who knows what other dangerous activity there has been that you don't know about. She's been spiralling and these kinds of spirals are well nigh impossible to stop without some kind of intervention. This is what I hope for your sister now -- that she gets all the intervention she needs, like it or not right now. I also hope that one day you and she can be sitting together chatting about your lives and that she is able to look back at this as her turning point.

More hugs,

Rosie x
Posted 10/6/2006 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
peal,

in the tarrot deck there is a card called "the lightening struck tower."  many people fear this card.  i do not.  the message of the card is that if you don't give something up voluntarily after it has served its purpose, it will be taken from you.  i hope that your syster has turned over the lightening struck tower.  when the tower is hit, healing and new growth can begin.

warren

Posted 10/27/2006 3:39 PM (GMT 0)
Just an update; my sister with bipolar is now serving 3 months in jail for hit and run as well as driving under influence of drugs. Thanks all for the support.
pearl
Posted 10/27/2006 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
Pearl,

As terrible as serving time sounds, the structure and rigidity of a jail sentance might actually be exactly what your sister needs right now.
They'll make sure she has her medication, they'll give her structure; a fixed and unchangeable schedule can do wonders for someone with a horribly disorganised mind.
This may be a blessing in disguise, I truly hope it is and that your sister can get the help she needs and is then able to see that she needed that help in the first place.
Posted 10/28/2006 12:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pearl,

Hugs to you: I know this must feel horrible. I also, though, think that Nicola (Djonma) is right: this could be where she finds some structure and has enough time on her meds for them to start making a difference.

Can you visit? Do you want to? At least it will be a very safe environment for you to do so and monitor her progress -- and you could also see whoever is in charge to talk through your concerns about her and hake sure that she is getting the right help while she's in there.

You and she are in my thoughts hun. I feel that this will be a positive thing in the long run, and I hope there are some signs soon that this is the case. (((Pearl)))

Rosie x
Posted 10/28/2006 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
uh oh guess what, just found out that the courts changed the sentence to work crew. She still escaped the jail time once again and is out. There was a whole write up in the local newspaper regarding her hit and run driving under the influence and 2 pipes found one with a white residue. Yet she escaped once again with out being punished but works on the jail crew gets paid and lives at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for 3 months. Doesnt make sense to me. The poor man that was injured was not brought up as to how he is doing now. I quess there will be more to come and next time I prey she doesnt harm herself or put anyone else in further harms way. I dont understand how she can get away with doing these crime (felonies) and not serve actual time for them.
pearl
Posted 10/29/2006 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
peaarless,

it's a flawed system. don't look for reason where none exists. justice is the provence of the gods. just provide as much (tough) love and (tough) support as you can. your sister is sick, but sicknes is not an excuse for her bahavior.

i wish you all the love and all of the strength this universe has to offer.

warren
Posted 10/29/2006 9:00 AM (GMT 0)
Oh lordy -- it is indeed a flawed system -- and I think you've seen a lot of its flaws. Do you know if the programme she's been put on has any way of enforcing medication? Could you still have a chat with the person who's in charge of this? -- It may be that they've factored this in and decided that this might be a better way of managing her problems?? I don't know -- I feel bad for you hun. Do try asking about all this though.

(((Pearl)))

Rosie x
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